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Back when I was young and my parents hadn’t yet accepted that there was hardly a drop of athletic ability amidst all the blood in my veins, I spent some time touring the various frustrating, extracurricular sports teams. Soccer, basketball and flag football all saw my rein of incompetence, and I quickly learned that the bench was a great place to relax if you wanted to sit a few plays out. And thanks to what surely looked like a mild case of mental retardation whenever I was on the field, the coaches usually wanted me to sit a few out as well.

Years have passed and team sports have largely become something for people who are paid millions of dollars to catch a ball and like to kill strippers, but benches are still a good place to sit a few plays out (metaphoricwise) when you’ve been taking a beating in that game called life.