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We’re going to Mars! It’s going to be fucking awesome!

Well, I’m sold. Where do I sign up?

Considering it’s kind of huge, space is obviously full of its fair share of cool shit. And some of it happens to be right in our cosmic backyard, so try not to feel too bad that Pandora isn’t real, you fucking Na’vi-loving creep. Seriously though, there are people out there who actually “experienced depression and suicidal thoughts” after seeing Avatar. Like thousands of them. Now THAT’S what’s really depressing about the film.

But you know what makes me depressed and suicidal? The fact that we know goddamned nothing about our universe, fuck, even the very world we live on, because our retarded population is too busy fighting over whether or not dinosaurs ever existed. Or that half of the really awesome, mindblowing shit that we do know never gets released to the public because there’s probably some way to turn that information into a bomb.

Colorful streaks in a crater on Mars - photo via HiRISE

Nonetheless, NASA just released a whole bunch of incredibly gorgeous photos of the surface of Mars, which, to my disappointment, don’t include any images of alien settlements. Regardless, they’ve still really gotten my nerd genes all a-quiver.

Like this one, which scientists “assure” us does not actually depict trees, but trails of debris streaking down the dunes. Yeah, okay guy.

Falling debris on dunes - photo via HiRISE

Deposits in Noctis Labyrinthus - photo via HiRISE

The rest are all equally stunning, so cram that up your crying-for-Pandora cram hole. Who’s the Toruk Makto now?

Go get your moon rocks off by checking out the rest of the gallery here.

If you’ve been following along, you might have already picked up on my tendency to take pictures out my window. It’s always been a natural subject for me really… I spend so much time looking out the window as it is. And there’s always something new anyway.

The sky in general just has so much to offer.

I once heard that rays of sun through the clouds like that were called “the hand of god” — although that might have just been part of the Christian brainwashing I underwent during my younger years. Anyway, NASA being the good scientists they are, found the real God’s hand in space earlier this year, which is great, because now we can hunt him down and kill him!

‘Hand of God’ X-ray nebula - photo via NASA

However, it turns out that NASA scientists estimated the moment depicted in that photo actually happened 17,000 years ago. Who knows where God could be now? Damn it!

Looking for your place in the universe?

I know how you feel, mang.

I took this extremely grainy photo when the sunset coming through the window in my kitchen was reflecting off the wall mirror in my living room and onto the gigantic (although not quite as gigantic as the thing itself) poster of the Orion Nebula hanging on the opposite wall.

The Orion Nebula… I didn’t take this one, some guy named NASA did

See, living in a small apartment can be fun! And so is having huge posters of celestial bodies wallpapering your place — after all, if you can’t actually be in space, you might as well bring it to your living room. Or do lots of psychedelic drugs. Or both.

But since we’re kind of on the subject today, in the immortal words of Deltron…

Fuck Earth, I want to live on Mars so I’m closer to the stars
And farther away from dumb civilization with no mental stimulation

I know how you feel, mang.