I found this clipping from the sands of time over at 4Q, and it proves that getting ketchup out of a bottle has been a confounding, Herculean task for far too long. Particularly because I’ve never found their proposed method particularly useful. Plus, it’s hard to make ketchup badass, so frankly, I’m starting to like the sound of this “hazardous and unnecessary” shit anyway.

Thank the gods of sauce for plastic bottles, right? But not for plastic ketchup packets, because those are the worst invention man has ever created, designed purely to spawn frustration and disappointment. Almost as bad as Christmas morning in the ghetto, if you ask me.