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With mainstream music of all kinds getting dumber and less inspired by the day, along with painful wait times between underground releases, I’ve found myself searching for head bobbers and bangers in stranger territories. Lately I’ve been excavating the deep, rich mines of DJ instrumental albums. And for those of you who crave psychedelia and a solid bass line equally, this is exciting territory to be mining.

Cut Chemist - photo by Oliver Shyal Beardsley

Cut Chemist’s 2006 debut full length, The Audience’s Listening, has a stranglehold in my iTunes “Recent Played” playlist right now, and with good reason. With his track record of producing neck-breaking beats for Jurassic 5, checking out his solo material should be pretty much a no brainer. Seriously, check your brain at the door — smoke some California medicine, flip this on, and prepare for blastoff. 

The Audience’s Listening is incredibly diverse, as Cut Chemist liberally rifles through samples and rearranges them into some truly mind-blowing soundscapes. After a few introductory spins, the listener is finally able to peel their slacking jaw off their desk and move on to actually digging into the songs. This is an album that demands numerous play-throughs to fully appreciate, although I suspect any fans of scratching, trip hop, and backpack rap will be coming back to it quite willingly anyway.

It’s an exciting 47 minutes to behold — a treasure chest of world beats, turntable feats, and party fuel a la The Avalanches. And since the Apocalypse is likely to arrive before The Avalanches’ long-awaited followup, Cut Chemist’s whacked-out concoctions are a fine substitute for all those times you feel like going on a sonic vacation.

Anyway, before I go, I wanted to sprinkle a little pixie dust in your eye. 

Maybe it’s not quite magical, but it’s still a heck of an even number to randomly hit. Wish I had been paying attention when 666 rolled around a few years ago. I would have even taken 6666 — evil with a touch of extra evil. Whatever. There’s no real significance to 9000, except that after another year or so, I’ll forsake a 4 digit song count forever. Or at least until I clean out the 8000 or so songs I have that I never listen to. Never mind that now — we’re going straight on til’ 10 grand.

About a year ago, I canceled my cable subscription, and at the time, it was mostly just because I thought everybody working at Comcast was an idiotic, unhelpful drone. But it sounds more pretentious and elitist if I say that it’s because I was sick of paying for miseducation, which is also kind of true anyway. I mean… I am pretty pretentious and elitist, after all. But seriously, fuck TV. Case in point:

As usual, YouTube’s audience of bickering, insatiable bottom-dwellers come correct:

This particularly embarrassing moment in Dre’s career death spiral started getting some play a couple weeks ago, a fact I had missed until recently due to not watching the television. The whole time, up until the horrible reveal, I found myself wishing, “Surely, that isn’t Dre behind Gimp Mask 2.0.” This has basically shattered any residual respect I used to have for the good doctor. What the hell happened to gangster rap? There was a time when Dre might have released an album about that. If OG Triple OG has to Detox off of anything, it’s the mainstream rap teat.

And if that mask is indeed the face of cool in 2010, I think I’ll take my seat next to Pizza Face and the kid who always smells like onions over at the loser table. I’ve lost my appetite anyway.

A final word from Captain Obvious — things were different 11 years ago…

Rappers I couldn’t live without (an incomplete list)¹:

Atmosphere (Slug)

Slug - photo via blogs.creativeloafing.com

So I’m an emo backpacker. So what.

Seriously though, maybe he doesn’t do it for you if you’re not a clinically depressed husk of a human being — but nobody could rap about self-hatred, alcoholism, and relationship problems with the humor and charisma that Slug delivers. With his highly developed, conversational style of story-telling, it’s easy to relate to his raps… at least for me. Non-husks need not apply.

The Gift of Gab

The Gift of Gab - photo via amoeba.com

His skill level is indisputable. That’s all there is to it. Whether it’s in Blackalicious, The Mighty Underdogs, or on his solo albums, he’s awesome on every track. Gab is a master of his craft, a true innovator… a magician.

Aesop Rock

Aesop Rock - photo via delarge.co.uk

I like that photo of Aesop Rock because he looks totally crazed. And I like Aesop Rock because he’s experimental and has a huge vocabulary… and well, he’s totally crazed. He may not suit my daily needs as well as some other names on this list. He may not be nearly as accessible, but he’s unlike anybody else, and in a music industry as flooded with generic noise as ours is, that counts for a lot.

DOOM/MF Doom/King Geedorah/Madvillain/Victor Vaughn/ad nauseum

DOOM - photo via blog.hopeglory.com

Just since some people wear a mask don’t mean they did nothin’ automatically - DANGERDOOM

Drunk, horse from too many blunts, slurring and rasping his way through relentless punchlines and nostalgic pop culture references, Metal Fingers Doom is unmistakable. And yeah, I guess the multiple personalities and big silver mask might also have something to do with that.

Chali 2na

Chali 2na - photo via theagencygroup.com

While there are other more prolific and adventurous emcees I could put here (Del was a serious contender), 2na Fish elevates any group song he’s on. “The verbal Herman Munster” works best in a b-boy group, with his distinct baritone voice and fast flow peppered with literary devices. His solo work is occasionally routine, and lacks that certain chemistry he had with the other Jurassic 5 dudes. But nearly all of his parts in Jurassic 5 before the whiff that was Feedback are flawless and entrancing.

Just think about Jurassic 5 — they would have kinda sucked without 2na. Set, point, match.

Sorry Del. If we were talking about hip hop albums, 3030 would top the list. Plus, there’s always room for one more… I’m just tired and this post is overlong as it is. So, instead of officially putting Diesel on the list, I think I’d rather just do as Del does, and smoke some BMs — Bob Marleys, that is.

¹All current champions are subject to change.

Cover page for an old article on hip hop - via FFFFOUND!

It’s a Saturday, and that means somewhere, sometime soon, somebody will be dancing. But it won’t be me, because I’ll be getting drunk and fucking some serious Koopa ass in Mario Kart like all the truest pimps and macs do.