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Holy fuck, how did I miss this. Not a question. More of a demand to the universe that it never happens again.

In case you missed it as well…

A couple weeks ago, DVS put out this pretty insane tribute/promotional video for Daewon Song’s new DVS x Almost collaboration sneaker. Pink shoes aside, if I had to pick one pair of legs in the wide world of skateboarding to cybernetically fuse to the bottom of my torso, I’d have to go with Daewon Song’s. Now, I don’t know precisely the condition his thighs are in, and whether or not he suffers from “cottage cheese butt”. I understand this is a condition a significant portion of the population spends some time agonizing over. However, it’s a risk I’m willing to take for the gift of being able to do whatever the fuck I ever wanted to on a skateboard, frankly.

The video starts with Daewon attempting to recreate his legendary part in World Industries’ 1992 video, Love Child — famous for containing the first hardflip ever documented… and in those pants! Daewon screws up at the end of the second mega-line, but it’s alright, because he spends the rest of the video making up for his shortcomings by splitting the very fabric of skateboarding in two.

The amount of truly obscene tricks that occur in this video is just mind boggling. But the appropriate response would not be to cover your eyes or those of your children — indeed, don’t dare blink, for each second of this clip contains staggering levels of skateboarding proficiency that will require multiple, complete viewings to fully understand. In fact, my retinas were so severely seared by the acrobatics herein, that smoke is still pouring out of my eye sockets. For real, smoke is actually coming out of my eyes right now. Leave it to Daewon Song to attempt to recreate an epic video part, “fail” in doing so, and end up with something entirely new AND STILL epic.

So yeah, looks like Daewon Song put out the best video part of the year and it’s only March… oh yeah, and the video was released for free online and it was just a bunch of skate park clips.

The thing is… “just a bunch of skate park clips” is a wholly offensive way of describing this footage of everybody’s favorite skateboarding alien. I don’t even know why I’m impressed, honestly. Daewon has never not blown my shit away. It’s his singular calling in life, to make everybody else in skateboarding feel like the inadequate guy you always see at the beginning of Viagra commercials, rolling over in bed so his back is to his disappointed lover.

I lost count of how many times I said “what the fuck” in the two minutes I spent watching this.

The dude is on another level… a level that resides even farther into outer space than I originally anticipated. He’s been sponsored for nearly twenty years, spending much of that time being innovative in ways that are unfathomable, even for an activity that prides itself on always pushing the envelope of what is “possible.” And today, when skateboarding is witnessing the offspring of his mind-boggling technical progression in the form of a veritable legion of 17-year-old triple-flipping wunderkinds, the grandfather comes out with this. It’s a giant, rotating middle finger to the reason we had to stop calling tre flips 360 flips (because kids actually started doing kickflips while spinning 360 degrees simultaneously with ridiculous regularity).

I apologize — my run-on sentences are longer than Daewon’s nose manuals. The point is, he’s still better than everyone. He’ll probably always be better than everyone, even when he’s retired to a life of solitude somewhere far removed, content to spend his days defying physics in a secluded monastery tucked into some Tibetan cliff side. Ambitious amateurs will then climb those perilous cliffs, hoping to earn his tutelage… but of course, they never will.

Mmm… skateboarding videos. Like Saturday morning cartoons for underpaid twenty-something wage slaves. Comforting, familiar and yet… utterly unproductive. But productivity is a whole lot like work, and work ain’t workin’ for me.

Anything the DVS guys put out is always worth a looksee. They’re one of those companies that not only boasts an impressive roster of talent on the board, but also behind the lens and the Mac Pro’s dual monitors. Their videos look great in every regard, so the only thing that could have made this unreleased footage from Dudes, Dudes, Dudes even better was, obviously, even more dudes.

Skateboarding is like a frat house for all the guys who don’t belong in the frat house. And that’s fine with us — you jocks can’t have any of our boy crushes then!

As a final note, they really couldn’t go wrong with a soundtrack that includes the song “Lotion” by The Greenskeepers, which quite obviously lifts its lyrics from The Silence of the Lambs’ resident serial killer, Buffalo “Tuckin’ It” Bill. Making a gruesome skin suit out of your hopeless victims’ remains? I mean, what doesn’t that have in common with skateboarding?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, folks! The time the Transworld Skateboarding Skate & Create contest’s entries are revealed! And while TWS might not be much more than a bloated collection of ads, their contest has certainly delivered the content — DVS has created spectacular, jaw-dropping short videos for the occasion two years in a row.

Combine free-spirited creativity, excellent skating, and beautiful cinematography, and what more do you even need? I mean besides weed.

The concept for the 2009 entry is just awesome… the mirror effect theme running throughout… the color.… all the surreal shots… the extremely talented feet of the DVS team riders. Fuck. That sums up all I have to say, really. Fuuuuuck.

And check out their entry for 2008 if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s very different, but it’s also very good:

Shit man, after watching all this awesome footage you know what I wanna do more than anything? That’s right — SKATE AND CREATE, BROS!