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In protest of that bill or whatever that they passed in Arizona, the only liquid I’m allowing into my body is Corona, and my diet has otherwise subsisted almost exclusively of canned refried beans and José Olé‘s mini-tacos. My guts feel… mad. But I’m doing what I can.

Things take a turn for the gross here.

I found this… graveyard of cigarette butts and vegetables? and trash and street slime outside one of Chicago’s many fine, flatscreen-wallpapered drinking establishments. I may barf just looking at it right now. Put this shit on the side of cigarette boxes, fuck those necrotic lungs, for real.

Edit: The longer I look at this, the more convinced I am that there’s a dead bird in there. Those damn cancer sticks truly show no mercy, my god.

Remember when “random” was a grossly overused word in most 18-year-old girls’ already limited vocabularies? Granted, it still might be… I just don’t happen to know any 18 year-old-girls anymore. I know… what a drag. But, like a fine wine, women just keep getting better with age. I mean, how could you pass this up?

Yeah, let’s not get too close to the screen, now. As I was saying — “random” may or may not be a popular word in the average college girl’s vernacular, but either way, today it is a perfect way to describe the following photos. They are hardly related. And you know what? I hardly care.

These two actually aren’t that random. It’s the same sunset, shot through different windows. Although the first one is, in fact, the same sunset shot through the window’s reflection in a mirror covered by creepy fake spiderwebs. I think I’m going to call that technique “death meta.”

And for any of you fucking math-metal nerds out there who are thinking about stealing that for your band’s name… don’t. I’m already using it for the name of my philosophy book club. We meet every Thursday at 7, in the church basement. I hope you’ll join us in our quest to clarify the notions by which people understand the world.

Jabba The Hutt’s last cigarette, I’m guessing.

Can’t blame the kid for screaming. Just look at how close his face is to America’s most fertile liver spot farm. I’d gouge my eye out too. So yeah… I take everything back — old people are foul.

…Come to think of it… you can’t catch liver spots from eating cookies can you?