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Disney’s 1987 TV Special DTV Monster Hits is like a dose of instant good mood. Creedence Clearwater Revival? The Monster Mash? Halloween in general? TOONS?! God I’m a sucker for some toons, but that’s probably just because one never dropped a piano on my brother.

I don’t know about you guys, but I think I’d cave in and dole out some candy if I had gotten my sternum broken by a broom stick. I guess I’d probably be a pretty shitty cartoon.

The Monster Mash section is particularly transcendent.

For my money, you really can’t do better than a skeleton slapping itself on its assbones. In fact, this clip is where I learned the majority of the dance moves I employ to this day. Less people seem to want to dance with me than when I was 8, but whatever, I’m not going to dial down my heat just because some people are intimidated.

I just discovered the Ghostbusters 2 DVD contains two episodes of the groundbreaking animated series based on the films. Things are looking up.

The animated series was actually called The Real Ghostbusters, due to another cartoon called Ghostbusters, launched after the success of Ivan Reitman’s 1984 film of the same name. The show ran for a pathetic year and featured a gorilla in its cast. Totally unrealistic.

Conversely, The Real Ghostbusters ran from 1986 to 1991, providing me with a constant and faithful ally during some very important developmental years. And people wonder why I’m so obsessed with imagery portraying skeletons, monsters, and creepy crawlies of all kinds. I just chalk it up to a major slime-related psychokinetic event that caused a violent prolonged transformative psychic episode in my youth.

If TMNT was my cartoon breakfast as a child, then Ghostbusters was my dinner. I’m not sure what lunch would have been. Maybe a grilled cheese, I really loved those when I was a kid. Still do, in fact.

This has been inconsistently available on the Internets up until now, but for the moment, Vimeo has chosen to be a gracious god. If you haven’t seen it yet, Logorama, an Oscar-winning animated short film by the French animation collective H5, is absolutely required viewing.

Go ahead, watch it… just do it, already. Or don’t… have it your way. Okay, I’m done.

Maybe it’s a statement about the gross excesses of capitalism, maybe it’s a dark portent of the near future, maybe it’s a celebration of iconic logo design, fuck, maybe it’s just a great, thoughtful cartoon! Either way, it definitely deserves the Academy Award, and your time, even if it isn’t on IMAX.

Thanks for the tip, Nathaniel.

Time for a dose of Saturday morning cartoons! To say that this animated short has a one-track mind would be an understatement. It would also be personification, but this isn’t English class. School drools, it’s the weekend!

The short, by French artists Mrzyk & Moriceau, boasts a perfect soundtrack by Sébastien Tellier, and is so simple you’ll feel like an ass for not thinking of it yourself.

And to think that when old Japanese guys stare at cartoon butt cheeks for 4 minutes straight we call them perverts.

In light of our one-sided discussion about coats of arms leading way to modern logo design earlier this week, this is the story of a logo, who cried a river and drowned the whole… uh… hm.

I guess making parodies of cheesy pop song lyrics doesn’t really work when you switch out an easily rhymed word like “girl” with “logo.” 

Originally the idea here was to take an element from the first “logo,” as it were, and carry it over to a new doodle, letting it evolve naturally (hey, weed is natural, prudes). Nonetheless, I lost the reigns here a little bit, in case that wasn’t obvious, and I think this ended up as more of a devolution than anything. For one thing, “DG” isn’t even a logical abbreviation for “dedleg”. But not like that matters, considering by the third iteration it was totally illegible anyway.

I often lament that what I love to do doesn’t pay the rent. But sometimes, I can really understand why.

Anybody need a male escort? Special talents include mediocre logo design.

Improvisational drawing — get an idea, form some loose theme, and wing it. And sometimes you come up with something kinda not bad.

Anybody who thinks Alice in Wonderland is some wacked out, trippy shit needs to have their head examined. …Actually, I take that back. Anybody who thinks that is probably pretty normal. It’s the people who have withstood the visual and psychological tortures of this 1983 cartoon from Hell, Malice in Wonderland by Vince Collins, who need medical intervention. And by that I mean, somebody please call 911 on my behalf because I’m currently twitching and drooling on myself.

It’s only four and a half minutes long, which is mercifully short — I’m not sure I could have handled much more than that. It’s my official recommendation to never, ever watch this if you’re actually on drugs. Fucking call your mom and have a phone conversation when you’re tripping before you do this. Set fire to a police precinct. Cut off your left buttcheek. Anything would be more tolerable.

It is pretty amazing though, in that kind of “I’ll never be the same again” way. Ah, nothing quite like the good ol’ days when cartoons were carefree, harmless, and taught you important lessons about life!

Although I was shit talking baseball earlier this week, this cartoon has restored my faith… kind of. At the very least, if baseball had more crazed, acid-induced mania going on, it might not be so bad. But I mean… my job would be a whole lot better if I was high on LSD the whole time too.

Actually, I take that back, that’s a horrible idea.

A little back story on this amazing journey. On June 12^th, 1970, Dock Ellis was about to enter the books for pitching a no-hitter in a Major League baseball game. However, as it turns out, Dock was lit up on LSD and amphetamines and somehow managed to pitch the best game of his life. Fuck those herbal muscle enhancement programs, fuck having your friends stick needles in your ass cheeks in the locker room — there’s a new performance enhancer in town and her name is Lucy. Now that’s something you can’t shake a cork-injected bat at.

Anyway, the cartoon is drawn by James Blagden with narration provided by the late Dock Ellis himself and it’s absolutely goddamned hilarious. Acid, man… I’m telling you, it changes your perspective on shit. Even baseball.