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You used to be able to buy this in stores. You know, pick some up at the CVS down the street while you’re grabbing a bag of Combos and a Diet Coke.

In the late 1800s, Bayer was attempting to derive codeine from morphine in order to market a less potent and less addictive painkiller. However, in a happy accident, they actually produced heroin, which instead of being weaker, is nearly twice as potent as normal morphine. Nonetheless, Bayer sold heroin as a non-addictive morphine substitute and cough suppressant from 1898 to 1910, even going so far as to call it a cure for morphine addiction. In fact, the name “Heroin” was actually a Bayer trademark until World War 1. However, once it was discovered that heroin metabolizes into morphine incredibly quickly, the fun was over, especially for Bayer.

Look at that menu though! They were slangin’ piperazenes too! And aspirin? I mean, damn, that shit will fuck you up. Basically, Bayer was the trench-coat-clad guy covered in scabs, walking up and down 3^rd avenue mumbling “Ex, weed, coke, dope…” of the day. Totally keeping the party raging in the hospice, 24-7, 365, my doggs.