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How much time did you waste as a child doing the right eye / left eye thing? That couldn’t have been just me.

Speaking of which… Ocular Dominance would be a great name for a metal band. The best part is, it’s kind of ironic, since no matter what eye you have open, you can’t see too much when you’re headbanging your mystical metal wizard locks around. And I think in the metal world, irony is cooler than studded bracelets but less cool than stonewash denim jackets. These are merely my conclusions after some cursory fieldwork — I’m hardly an expert. I just come up with totally kickass band names. And I’m not too bad with logos, either.

Obviously, their debut record would have to be a concept album based on The Lord Of The Rings, told through the perspective of Sauron’s all-seeing eye.

Other band names, metal or otherwise, that I coined and are now floating in the abyss of forgotten ideas:

Hotdog High Five, Cat Diary, Trigonometry Dog, Kaleidoscope of Pain, Metal Fatigue, Tenderball, Space Matter, Fleeting Pleasantries, Double Meat, Travesties of Fabric 

Please call my attorney for licensing information.