Ganja Gremlin

It’s hard to choose just one quotable from this diatribe of cluelessness (seriously, and they think potheads are the dumb ones…), so I’m going to pick it apart the same way I would pick through a bag of poorly-trimmed schwag.

say no weed still be cool Ganja Gremlin

“I like my peaceful brain.” “No, I’m allergic to hate.” “I never inject, weed sucks!” “No, weed makes you mean.”

Whoever wrote this clearly doesn’t understand marijuana’s primary effects, and is perhaps not entirely sure of what weed even is.

Yo lemme get a puff of that pure hatred, dogg. Can’t wait to get me some blood red eyes, radiating my inner seething hate for everything that isn’t weed.

“I’m calling the cops on you.” Oh yeah, I’d say that really qualifies as saying no to weed and still being cool about it.

“Do you think I’m an idiot?!” Um… kind of, considering you thought people actually inject weed. Frankly, I’m not sure they even make syringes big enough to fit the kind of dank azz nugz I get.

Nobody thought of, “No thanks man, but enjoy yourself”? Is being cool about saying no to weed really that hard? Based on the severe uncoolness of all the above-listed options, one can only deduce that it’s actually impossible to say no to weed and still be cool. So, light that joint, losers, because your only hope is in dope.

“Ask me again in 10,000 years.” WE’LL BE WAITING, WESLEY.


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  1. rb  ¦  10.07 PM  ¦  05.12.2013

    This is satire? This cannot be serious.

  2. dedleg  ¦  10.10 PM  ¦  05.12.2013

    No way to be sure since it’s the Internet and there’s no source - MMYV is an anti-pot organization called Marijuana Makes You Violent though, which I hadn’t heard of before and had to look up. Really could go either way, but I hope it’s real because that would obviously be way funnier.

  3. greg  ¦  6.05 PM  ¦  10.18.2013

    this is the stupidist shit i have ever seen, what retard who wrote this, im a fuckin hippie you judging hypacrit conformists, i aint a fuckin square, i got my life so far, libral fucks

  4. internetalias  ¦  1.38 AM  ¦  07.07.2014

    There are some real gems in there. I like to see how many of these I can read before getting a deep desire to punch a face. Is weed making me violent? Is calling someone “bub” an insult?

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