August 2012


The dopest dope

Look, I try hard not to be “that guy” when it comes to weed, even if I totally am. You know “that guy,” he’s the guy who’s always trying to tell you about how awesome his bud is, or show you “all those fuckin’ red fuckin’ hairs man,” or “those motherfucking crystals!!!!!” It’s boring, and more than that, it’s annoying - definitely for people who don’t give a shit about weed, but it’s probably even annoying for pot heads too, because they’re just like, “Okay, looks good, dude… can we, like, smoke this shit already?”

master kush The dopest dope

That said, you’d have to be fucking Rudy Giuliani not to recognize this as art, right here. I mean, this may as well be the fucking art particle.

master kush2 The dopest dope

Shit is positively radioactive. At least… that’s what it feels like.

It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like… killing a unicorn… with, like, a bomb.

I’ve sampled some… okay, a little bit more than “some,” but I’ve sampled some pretty potent strains of California medicine in my time. All told, this probably takes the prize for aesthetics alone. Also, time? Man, when you think about it, what even is time? Never mind how you would go about owning some for yourself once you finally managed to figure out what it was… you know?

But, fuck it. That’s right, I said buttfuck it. For every snobbish asshole in Napa with their nose dipped in a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, I think I’ve earned the right to be something of a self-proclaimed connoisseur when it comes to a particular herbal luxury. When I start going on about the cut of my crack rocks, then, by all means, feel free to become concerned.

And, in conclusion: those motherfucking crystals!!!!!


Reactor: On

So, here’s a bit of news that might stir the loins of Del The Funky Homosapien’s loyal followers, or fans of Dan the Automator, or fans of psychedelic, mind-melting hip hop epics in general. The long-awaited, nigh-legendary followup to seminal post-apocalyptic hip hop concept album Deltron 3030 is set for an “October-ish” release, according to producer Automator.

deltron 3030 event ii artwork Reactor: On

“October-ish” isn’t necessarily the most reassuring release date for a project that has languished in rap limbo for the past six years, but the fact that the group played ten new songs in June at the Luminato festival in Toronto, Ontario, and are talking openly about the album in Rolling Stone is a little more confidence-inspiring. And you know what else is? This quote from Dan the Automator:

“Basically, I think this record is a lot better than the last one.”

Fuck man, triple-jointed cybernetic fingers crossed!

Personally, I can’t wait to put the vinyl on, and sit back with a crisp pint of Positive Contact, Dan the Automator’s signature brew from Dogfish Head.

positive contact dogfish head Reactor: On

An ale brewed with apple cider and spiced. A positive combination of Fuji cider, slow-roasted farro, a bit of cayenne and fresh cilantro.

Named after a key track on the first album, Positive Contact is a 9% ABV hybrid of beer and cider brewed with wood-pressed Fuji apples, roasted farro, a handful of cayenne peppers and a late dose of fresh cilantro. This sweet-and-sour Belgian-ish brew is a light straw color with fruity, cider-like notes. The cayenne and alcohol give it a warming finish.

October-ish release dates, Belgian-ish brew. Typical of Deltron 3030… you try to describe it, and no matter what, you always fall a little short.

Needless to say, I will need to find a bottle of this with extreme haste. Sounds like liquid autumnal sunshine. And one hell of a hangover.

Thanks to Adam Riff and Nate, aka Junkyard Dog, for the head’s up on all of this, b.t. dubs.


Death becomes you

Am I breathing napalm? Ah yes. Do my shins and ankles fill like they’re buried in wet cement when I walk? Seems so. Do I feel utterly drained and yet… dare I say it… happy? The only logical deduction here is that I must be skateboarding regularly again.

zombie self portrait Death becomes you

You know, it’s incredible, but after 12 years I still can’t believe how much getting a shinner hurts.

Time flies when you’re getting the shit kicked out of you by your skateboard, I guess.

Riding the train home from a somewhat merciless session at the recently reopened LES skatepark the other night, a trio of kind of bummy little kids fighting over a bag of Cheetos and half a bottle of water sat down next to me. Typically I hate being near other human beings during my commute, especially so if I’ve just been skating since I tend to stink up my corner of the car like a ballsac on fire, which only reaffirms the average subway rider’s small-minded view that all skateboarders are drunken ruffians who smell like burning ballsacs, but these three little mongrels were actually a relief since they kind of smelled like balls too. However, it didn’t take long, as I feared, for the biggest and boldest amongst them to chirp up, “You skateboard?”

Historically, this has struck me as a very odd question directed towards someone with a very well-worn skateboard in hand. But then I noticed the excessively dapper dingus staring at me kind of hungrily from across the train - gripping his shiny new longboard, no less - and it occurred to me it might not be such a strange question after all. It made me realize, while I definitely stink, in a literal sense, and maybe even a little at skateboarding too, at the very least, I don’t suck, like, in general.


In a strange turn of events...

nyjah huston street league trophy In a strange turn of events...

The truck is on backwards on Nyjah Huston’s 2012 Street League trophy. Doesn’t that kind of just say it all? Sorry, but I don’t think you’ll be winning too many contests with a set-up like that, brah. Turns out Street League Skateboarding is kind of confused when it comes to what actual skateboarding looks like. Whoa, go figure.


To hold you in time

Skate photographer Johnathan Mehring tosses up odds and ends from his vaults on Skateboarder’s website from time to time, and he just dumped a veritable treasure trove down into this series of tubes called the Internet that we fiendishly suckle at, nourishing us yes, and yet draining us utterly at the same time…

But anyway, let’s not get all dystopian and stick to the skateboarding! Fuck thinking, we need to shred! Maybe a few of these shots will inspire you to do some shredding of your own. Or instead, maybe you’ll just go buy some tight Dickies and a vintage AC/DC t-shirt, and post up on Bedford Avenue with a slick plastic banana board you picked up at Urban Outfitters. It’s your world, boo, we just have to live in it with you, unfortunately.

I forgot to mention, these are all from the New York area, specifically Brooklyn and the Bronx. Which makes the shots particularly relevant to this website’s motif so it’s almost justifiable that I’m just ripping off a whole bunch of content from somebody else. Hey, sharing is caring, guys. Sharing is caring.

rob pluhowski falls To hold you in time

A truly epic moment in time, and a classic slam for anybody whose formative skateboarding education took place in the wake of Photosynthesis. You’ll immediately recognize this shot of Rob Pluhowski hovering above his doom if you ever saw Habitat’s Mosaic, which is, shockingly, nearly a decade old now. You know you’re doing something right (I think) when your slam is so good that they put that in your part instead of the actual make. Hell, it opens the part. Check it out below if you’re a delinquent and haven’t done your homework:

jason dill 50 To hold you in time

Moving past the Mosaic era and landing sometime between DVS’s Skate More (2005) and AWS’s Mindfield (2009), we find Dill rocking the shants & NorCal ripper socks combo while everybody else thought he looked like a fruitcake. Or if you were a fan you probably just said, “Oh, that’s Jason Dill for you. Weird and fashiony.” But one thing’s for sure, you weren’t rocking shants & NorCal ripper socks. No, you assholes waited until those little shits from Odd Future went and sold Supreme to the mainstream to start doing that (2011). And the thing is… they were probably just copying Jason Dill anyway.

For the record, when I say “you” were doing this, or “you” were doing that, I don’t really mean you you, you, the reader of this website. Not necessarily anyway. I’m just speaking in generalities. Hey, I have to yell at someone. I’ve got a lot of rage up inside me. Shit’s gotta come out. It’s not healthy to hold shit in. Shoulda learned that in the 1st grade and you wouldn’t have pooped your pants in front of the whole class, but hey, there I go again with the damn “you” thing, so I apologize.

jason adams ollie To hold you in time

I like this one because it shows how much New York has changed in a relatively short amount of time. I mean, you always hear about how the city has changed so much between the 80s and today, but I wasn’t living in New York to see that metamorphosis. So it’s cool to start to notice things like that, and by “cool,” I actually mean “kind of disheartening.” In any case, this weird, industrial spot Jason Adams is ollieing into sure looks like a shit hole, but now it’s home to multimillion dollar condominiums and the waterfront park where I took so many photos of the Empire State Building while living in Williamsburg, only a few blocks away. For example…

nyc skyline behind construction site To hold you in time

But let’s get back to photography that isn’t mine, and is therefore, much, much more exciting. And it doesn’t get much more exciting than TNT boosting a massive air in front of the old KCDC location.

tony trujillo jump ramp To hold you in time

[all skate photography by Johnathan Mehring]

I feel like that one’s probably the ender. I mean… come on.

Not a single flip trick is featured in this post. Woops. I mean unless you call Rob Pluhowski’s half back flip corkscrew thing into the world’s biggest puddle a “trick,” but I don’t think it counts.


Burning trees

Finally picking up the camping coverage I so hastily dropped the ball on a couple weeks ago. I’ve been a bit negligent as far as my arts and farts and crafts go, to be honest. On the flip side (no pun intended… actually, just kidding, it was totally intentional) I’ve been skateboarding a lot more. This is kind of how my creative ebb and flow goes. I’ll skateboard heavily for a few weeks, inevitably hurt myself somehow, then draw my little doodles and shoot photos more often for a few weeks while my stupid leg heals, and the cycle repeats itself. Maintaining a creative journal (that’s art code for “diary”, btw) / flatlining blogging enterprise is quite the balancing act… it’s not unlike skateboarding, in that respect. But that’s about where the similarities end though, because in all honesty, skateboarding is approximately a thousand times cooler than running a blog or even using the term “creative journal,” semi-ironically or not.

Anyway, onto the pictures of trees and shit.

fire pit overhead Burning trees

Technically, this is a picture of a tree. Think about it. Sorry to any trees in the audience, this is probably hard to look at.

campsite sign Burning trees

In case you were wondering, yes, I am the mayor of St. Croix Falls campsite S 63.4 on foursquare. The perks are insane. You can wipe with all the leaves you want!

dead wasp Burning trees

And this is the last guy who tried to usurp my throne.

boggle Burning trees

You might not recognize these strange things. Understandably so, they’re from before your time. They’re called “games” and primitive peoples used to “play” them, before video games and the Internet existed. Those symbols on the die are called “letters,” and they were once used to form “words,” that people would then “read.” This must all sound crazy to you, I know. We’ll take it slow.

sunset st croix river Burning trees

Yeah, that’s right. Couldn’t get away without a sunset shot. What the fuck is the point of taking pictures at all anyway if you ignore the camera’s primary reason to exist? Sure, sunsets might happen literally every day, so as far as meteorological events go they’re not particularly novel enough to demand photographic recording, and yet they so do. At least as far as this creative journalist is concerned.


Elf shoes

This video is nearly a year old, and I feel like I may have seen it before at some point, but I stumbled across it last night and was pretty much blown away and shit. Extremely dope viewing material to say the least. In fact, you are doing yourself a disservice every second that goes by that you are not watching the video. Of course, every word I tack onto this post is delaying your primal need to see this clip, so I think I’ll stop being part of the problem, and be part of the solution. Goodbye.


It's gonna be there when I get home

For the record, this is the exact opposite of a “98 Year Old Fridgerator”.

ice pops filled fridge Its gonna be there when I get home

[photo via alieneyeball]

Indeed, this is a very youthful fridge. Very invitational. Highly decorated.

Also, this, from the 98 Year Old Fridgerator YouTube comments… as you know, YouTube comment boards are always a treasure trove of the Internet’s most shining scum.

poo youtube comment Its gonna be there when I get home


Yup. Whether he does it or not, just, kinda… weird.


Notes on killing it

In anticipation of this year’s King of the Road contest — only the best contest/tour in all of skateboarding — Thrasher put out a compilation of Tony Trujillo’s greatest hits culled from the ghosts of KOTR’s past.

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tony trujillo touching rafters Notes on killing it

ohhd Notes on killing it

Dear god… that wallride… pivot… rafter tap wall crawl thing at 3:30 is truly something to behold. If you can aspire to skate like anyone, Tony Trujillo’s not a bad choice.


One skate shoe to rule them all

Just one reason why Half Cabs were cool, are cool, and will forever be cool: Mike Carroll once set foot in them.

mike carroll venture ad One skate shoe to rule them all

[scan via Chrome Ball Incident]

This must have been taken sometime around ’94, considering MC was still riding for Vans at the time but had just started Girl too, by the looks of his hat and board graphic. Anyway, the point is, this shot is from about 18 years ago and the dude still looks cooler than you ever have, huge stonewashed jeans included. Just think about that.


Nothing is sacred

Her recent hair cut might have been bad, but this… this is redefining my very understanding of the word “bad.”

miley cyrus skateboarding Nothing is sacred

Ah well, she looks like a real natural, you’ve gotta give her that.

miley cyrus bong rip Nothing is sacred

Fuck it, I guess. She’s just being Miley.