February 2011

02.28.2011

Giving new meaning to the term "mustache rides"

Richie Jackson is one of those skateboarders who has largely been relegated to the dark corners of circus trickery, and is often unfairly regarded a goofball skater not to be taken seriously due to his bizarre trick selection and propensity for dressing like a pirate visiting a hippie commune. And while some of his tricks do veer dangerously close to the border of Kookville, USA, for the most part this dude’s skating is staggeringly difficult. Exhibit A:

Like it or not, he’s doing this skateboarding thing in his own way and that’s more than you can say about most of the hot “it” skaters around right now. Anybody who can boardslide a chain fence, let alone casper wall jam (I don’t know what the fuck else to call it) gets a gold star in my book.

richie jackson casper Giving new meaning to the term mustache rides

That’s some serious “holy shit” material. Would it be cooler if the dude didn’t look like Captain Jack Sparrow’s LSD-addled reflection? Maybe, but skateboarding is supposed to be a refuge from the superficial trappings of high school, so really, who gives a fuck what he’s wearing.

What I really want to know, though, is not how to do any of those spectacularly mind-bending tricks, but rather, how to grow a mustache like that.

02.28.2011

Wahh wahh

90458292417242560e31f1ae4e32c609bdf1d9f6 m Wahh wahh

So this is fun.

I love Monday mornings. Rainy ones are particularly good. Especially when incredibly pushy clients who have been on my ass all weekend give me a wake up call, and I mean that in a very literal sense. No spellbinding content for now, because I don’t have any control over my own life and am a happy slave to a lackluster career that is taking me nowhere.

02.26.2011

It's our planet... it's their war

Are you guys as pumped as I am about the upcoming season of Big Brother: Alien vs. Predator?

avp shower Its our planet... its their war

A fight that has spanned generations and hundreds of worlds… has finally… come… to… prime time.

02.25.2011

Meet me in the parking lot, it's going down

This video is not quite so much funny as it is a potent reminder to stay ever vigilant when doing the skateboardings in heavily-trafficked areas. If you don’t have the luxury of a buddy helping out with crossing-guard detail, you’d better make damn sure the street you’re ollieing into doesn’t have a car barreling down it at the same time, or else this skate may be your last.

After all, the saying is “skate or die” not “skate and die” — hold on to that one, kiddies.

02.25.2011

It's... the... remix!

What to do when your entire, bloated music collection has gotten stale? Obviously, start listening to mashups of all the stale songs until their very last drop of novelty has been drained. And nobody juices mainstream hip hop and indie rock better than The Hood Internet, so I was delighted to find they just put out Volume Five in their long-running mixtape series. It’s a solid release that seldom misses a beat and packs plenty of pleasant surprises along the way, which is pretty standard for the ever-consistent Chicago-based duo. With rumors of the team poised to release a full length of original productions later this year, this might even be the last we see of the legendary Hood Internet mixtape. Which would be okay, since this one goes out with a bang and I think we’ve all endured the merciless overplaying of Rihanna’s “Rude Boy” for long enough.

hood internet Its... the... remix!

DJs STV SLV and ABX, aka The Hood Internet

The typically staggering list of 30 tracks belies the album’s relative brevity — this time around, The Hood gets to the point and the whole thing blazes by pretty unexpectedly. For all the delightfully guilty peaks it has to offer, you might find yourself missing some if you’re not paying attention. Overall, it’s tighter and more succinct than their last offering, but at the same time, it feels less epic. Granted, at the time of its release, I remember feeling like The Mixtape Volume 4 was so loaded with talentless top 40 rap samples that I could barely stand it, whereas this time, the two Drake songs are melodic enough that they slip by practically unnoticed. It’s less likely to bring the roof down at your next all-night dance party, but it’s probably also less likely to annoy the fucking shit out of somebody if they aren’t into that Soulja Boy sample the 700th time around.

Of course, The Hood Internet are at their best when it comes to giving some shine to kids who sit at the “alternative” table in the cafeteria. For example, The Mixtape Volume 5 includes a cut off their Tobacco x Felt EP which reminded me of how good that album was.

The Hood Internet - Hot Tub Freaks Like You {Felt x Tobacco}

That’s not the first time the group has sampled from Tobacco’s cookie jar, either. A few years earlier, they released an EP blending Tobacco with Aesop Rock, which is also sick, albeit painfully short.

The Hood Internet - Hairy Candy at 11:35 {Aesop Rock x Tobacco}

Those are some of the Hood’s more obscure combinations, but fear not if you don’t happen to have an encyclopedic knowledge of backpack rap or electronic indie rock. All the high-charting dumb dumbs you’ve grown to love, or at the very least tolerate, make appearances as well.

And speaking of… I have to make special note of the R. Kelly x Major Lazer mashup, which is fucking incredible and I’m not just saying that because Kells is my kryptonite. Indeed, the unholy union of “Ignition” and “Keep It Going Louder” seems entirely inevitable in hindsight. For who doesn’t want to keep “Ignition” going louder? Makes sense.

The Hood Internet - Ignition (Keep It Remixing Louder) {R. Kelly x Major Lazer}

There are a whole bunch of other bangers on the album, too. There’s a surprisingly killer blend of BBU’s “Chi Don’t Dance” and Broken Bells’ “Citizen”. Another highlight, Clipse’s “Virginia” over the triumphant horns of “Cameras” by Matt & Kim doesn’t hit quite the height of the Beastie Boys and Matt & Kim amalgamation from the last mixtape, but it’s still pretty goddamn awesome anyway. Though, my personal favorite might go to the marriage of “X Gon’ Give It To Ya” and The XX, because I’m really just a well-off white boy from the suburbs and DMX still gets me all riled up.

Like so many of the best things in life, the entire album is available as a free download, so your only excuse for not checking it out is if you just straight up don’t like mashups. In which case, uh, sorry for boring you for the past 640 words! Maybe I can’t speak for everyone, but I, for one, am going to be riding this wave of lowbrow brilliance all the way to quitting time tonight.

02.24.2011

Cry Babies

Benjamin Burtt Jr. changed cinema history forever when, working as a sound designer for George Lucas, he discovered a studio reel labeled “Man being eaten by alligator.” It featured a recording of a scream that has since been used in over 200 films. He used it in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, and was apparently so smitten with the death rattle he went on to use it in most of the films he worked on, including many George Lucas and Steven Spielberg productions. Burtt called it “The Wilhelm Scream,” but you probably already knew it as “that dumb scream they always use in pretty much everything.” Movies, television, video games… the Wilhelm Scream has had one hell of a career.

The sound effect was named after Private Wilhelm, a character in the 1953 western, The Charge at Feather River who utters the scream after being shot with an arrow. Weirdly enough, this was actually the third film to use the scream, so why Private Wilhelm got the honors is beyond me. The full list of films the sound effect appears in is truly staggering, however. Sure, maybe it’s not so surprising to find it in Dragon Wars (D-War), but how about Juno? Or Enchanted? The Wilhelm Scream’s versatility knows no bounds.

Related: The Howie Scream, also known as “Screams 3; Man, Gut-wrenching Scream And Fall Into Distance,” which, I think you’ll agree, is a much catchier name.

This sound effect is actually my preferred historic cry of agony, possibly due to its inclusion in the computer games Dark Forces and StarCraft and the fact that I was a huge fucking loser in 9th grade. My first introduction to it was in the Nickelodeon series Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, although it’s also appeared in many other groundbreaking cinematic achievements, such as Last Action Hero and Face/Off. While it’s considerably more retarded than The Wilhelm Scream, it takes a true cinephiliac to appreciate that’s exactly what makes it superior.

02.24.2011

Markass marks, trickass marks, punk bitches...

…and skip skaps, skanks, and scallywags. In short: Dedleg’s intended demographic.

street rats scoundrels Markass marks, trickass marks, punk bitches...

I’m trying to decide if divulging the fact that this graphic’s text was derived from a musical number in Aladdin makes it cooler or less cool. I’m going to go with cooler. Aladdin was OG.

aladdin firey nipples Markass marks, trickass marks, punk bitches...

Google Images clearly agrees.

02.23.2011

On springs

Holy crapola. Last week, Powell Peralta rider Aldrin Garcia setting a new high ollie record of 45 inches and the photo is fucking amazing.

aldrin garcia high ollie On springs

Tweaked the fuck out like his board smoked a whole bag of meth before it rolled up to the contest. Dude looks like a skateboarding ninja, which will probably be the name of a movie sometime in the next 5 years. Some people might cry sketchy but I’m going to call it style. Sure there are plenty of pros who can ollie that high straight up and don’t enter silly contests, but this looks cool as hell regardless.

Check out the video action below.

Apparently the only person who loves that animated Powell intro more than me is Powell-Peralta, considering it bookends a video that isn’t even a minute long.

02.23.2011

All of the lights

The bar scene in New York is an experience something akin to that of moths drawn to a flame. A night crawling around Lower Manhattan has at once an irresistible attraction, and yet it so often ends in flames. But that’s just another reason why they shouldn’t put candles in a crowded room full of extremely drunk people.

reflection in bar menu lights behind walls All of the lights

red lamp All of the lights

candles on wall All of the lights

disco ball All of the lights

At the very least, you can usually get some decent shots along the way.

02.22.2011

gra·tu·i·tous·ness

Do the winter doldrums have you down? Here’s something that might not help, but at the very least you could hardly describe it as “mundane.” I stumbled upon this insanity a little while ago, but I haven’t been able to turn up very much information about it. Essentially, it’s something in between The Terminator and The Matrix, only the robots seem a whole lot better at winning. Human/machine relations must be tense in Malaysia. Typical of Asian cinema, it’s completely fucking bat shit crazy. And compared to The Matrix Reloaded, that’s really saying something.

It’s so over the top, it almost has a narcotic, stupefying effect on the viewer. But it’s just like they say, “nothing spells success like excess,” which, in a literal sense makes, uh, no sense. Although neither does this movie so I think it’s okay.

02.22.2011

Negative Creep

There’s nothing quite like coming back from vacation to make you feel like you need a vacation all over again.

doom and gloom Negative Creep

I suppose the endless procession of work, alongside New York’s renewed commitment to winter is weighing heavily on me this week. Of course, it’s lame to complain when our “suffering,” such that it is, is gilded with Nintendo Wiis, flat-screen televisions and trendy Apple electronics. But vegetating in front of a monitor isn’t necessarily a cure for the work-week doldrums so much as it is an anesthetic. Indeed, the human condition is often a regrettable existence. Granted, humans could also have it way worse. At least we’re not literally fighting for our survival like the great beasts of the African wilds… it just sure as shit feels like that some times.