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About a year ago, I canceled my cable subscription, and at the time, it was mostly just because I thought everybody working at Comcast was an idiotic, unhelpful drone. But it sounds more pretentious and elitist if I say that it’s because I was sick of paying for miseducation, which is also kind of true anyway. I mean… I am pretty pretentious and elitist, after all. But seriously, fuck TV. Case in point:

As usual, YouTube’s audience of bickering, insatiable bottom-dwellers come correct:

This particularly embarrassing moment in Dre’s career death spiral started getting some play a couple weeks ago, a fact I had missed until recently due to not watching the television. The whole time, up until the horrible reveal, I found myself wishing, “Surely, that isn’t Dre behind Gimp Mask 2.0.” This has basically shattered any residual respect I used to have for the good doctor. What the hell happened to gangster rap? There was a time when Dre might have released an album about that. If OG Triple OG has to Detox off of anything, it’s the mainstream rap teat.

And if that mask is indeed the face of cool in 2010, I think I’ll take my seat next to Pizza Face and the kid who always smells like onions over at the loser table. I’ve lost my appetite anyway.

A final word from Captain Obvious — things were different 11 years ago…