07.26.2010
An alarming new trend
Wouldn’t it be awesome if instead of having to make shady transactions with sketchy individuals in shadowy meeting spots, you could get your fix by downloading some drugs from the iTunes store? Fuck, then you could even use that gift card your parents got you for Christmas for drugs!!! Yeah, well. It would be nice. But it’s fucking impossible. Although not according to the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and this very earnest, albeit retarded, local news station.
Parents, stay vigilant! Your children are more gullible than ever!
I heard it was like, some weird like, demons and stuff through an iPod or something. He was just freaking out! — Meghan Edwards, Mustang High School Student
A shocking testimony, to be sure. Maybe it’s just me, but shouldn’t the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics be more concerned with, um, real drugs? Like the crystal meth I imagine 85% of the state’s population is addicted to?
Are we going to crack down on apple juice whenever the 4th graders pretend that they’re drinking beer now too?
Anyway, what the fuck do I know, I just got high as fuck off my Casio Digital Piano.
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i’ll stick to weed, thanks.
Oh ya know, just disregard the “eating disorder popular girl” and the “mentally retarded football quarterback” brainwashing of high school while you’re worrying about the stoner-inducing ipod trend.