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Our second day of camping began with a breakfast of beers, quickly followed by the most (i.e. least) epic boat race of all time. Much time was spent laboring over the inspired designs and shit-talking the other contestants, despite the fact that even the best crafts in the fleet were still only half-seaworthy (no relation to Seabiscuit, the racing horse… really, no relation at all, including any similarity in terms of actual racing ability).

The first and only rule was that our boats had to be entirely constructed out of natural, biodegradable materials. This was my entry: The Garbarge… a miniature Nina, or Pinta… or Santa Maria, only covered in beer logos. It was constructed out of twine, a stick, and cardboard ripped from beer boxes — probably the least waterproof material I could have found in the entire campsite. On that note, the pictures of the actual race turned out considerably less impressive, since they primarily featured capsized vessels — nonetheless, I am proud of my ship, and thankful that its last minutes were spent on the water, where it truly belonged. I can think of nowhere it would have rather died.

Insects that have hair always weird me out. Weirder still, this moth apparently likes brain teasers. And not just any brain teasers, I might add… Mensa-approved brain teasers, which are basically just an exercise in frustration and a way to make yourself feel really stupid. Mensa: feel free to use that sentence as a recommendation on the back of your next book.

This is pretty much the toughest-looking butterfly I’ve ever seen… much cooler than that nerdy moth relative of his a few photos up. This guy’s got a piece ripped out of his wing like an archetypal junkyard dog’s torn ear, which I imagine he acquired at a bare-fisted butterfly cage match, or something like that. I would have asked… but I was too intimidated.