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Feel like losing all hope in the future? Well boy, do I have something for you!

If you’re in a camp and a bear attacks, you don’t have to be faster than the bear. You only have to be faster than the slowest camper. — Michael Ruppert

This trailer for Collapse, doomsayer-at-large Michael Ruppert’s documentary on the impending oil crisis and ensuing economic meltdown is the kind of shit designed to keep you up at night. Go figure… and here I thought ruminating on the end of civilization as we know it was kind of relaxing. Seriously though, what are we gonna do when we’re too busy barricading our doors to check Facebook? WHAT THEN?

He contends that he doesn’t research conspiracy theories, rather, his area of expertise is conspiracy facts. And when he says shit like that while blowing cigarette smoke out of his flaring nostrils, I fucking believe him. But enough fear-mongering already, let’s go get some guns.

Although honestly, I don’t know what’s scarier: Michael Ruppert’s nightmarish visions of the future, or the YouTube comments for this trailer.

That Quaker Oats comment is about the only thing keeping me from holing up in a bunker and peeing in jars right now.