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I was never a boy scout — I only made it to Wolf, or Bear or some kind of animal — so I decided to make some merit badges for our wasting generation. The Stupids — can I submit that as our name? What are we? Millennials? Echo Boomers? That shit makes us sound like super heroes. Super heroes don’t have time for Twitter. Super heroes don’t care how Brad Pitt and Angelina’s marriage is holding up these days. But they do care about Brad Pitt’s scraggly goat man beard, because that shit is a crime.

It has little twists.

Anyway…

I will be doing more of these. And when they’re all done, we can sit down, look at them all together, and have a conversation about whether or not this is going to be a Bloomingdales exclusive, or what.