12.24.2009

Mouth Jewelry

jaws Mouth Jewelry

Richard Kiel as Jaws

Jaws was one of the finest living cartoon characters to ever cross James Bond. Dude may have been a little bit implausible as villainous henchmen go, what with his whole inexplicable super strength that allows him to bite through cable car cables. It was the metal teeth you say? Sorry girl, them shits is for show, that’s all. Home boy was just flossin.

Got 30 down at the bottom, 30 mo at the top, all invisible set in little ice cube blocks. If I could call it a drink, call it a smile on da rocks. If I could call out a price, let’s say I call out a lot. — Nelly

Little known fact: Nelly wrote “Grillz” with Jaws as inspiration. And, you know, I ain’t dissin’ nobody but let’s bring it to the light — Jaws was the first with his mouth bright white.

Don’t worry, his teeth will protect him in the crash. And that’s why you should send a letter to your Senator demanding why we can’t fit impenetrable titanium grills for every last soldier in the bloated defense budget.

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  1. anonymous  ¦  6.12 PM  ¦  12.29.2009

    I just saw a Mythbusters episode about Jaws yesterday. Busted!

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