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Check it out! A weather advisory for something I’ve 1) never heard of, and 2) apparently causes no damage, isn’t threatening at all, and… probably doesn’t deserve an advisory in the first place?

Growing up on the East Coast, you get used to certain types of weather. The Midwest has its own set of weird idiosyncrasies (such as an affinity for really shitty cheap beer), weather patterns included. Funnel clouds are apparently the mild mannered cousin of tornadoes, and just like entire city blocks that reek of Polish sausage, aren’t really a common occurrence in New York City.

Funnel clouds are basically the tadpole to a really big, mean bullfrog named Tornado. Nonetheless, they sure can look pretty fucking intimidating. Anything that shoots lightning out of its ass… scary in my book.

Funnel Cloud in Grand Rapids, MN - photo via Weather Underground

In my quest to gain an increased understanding of the enigmatic funnel cloud, I came upon another one of its unusual atmospheric brethren: the waterspout. A waterspout is basically a funnel cloud that touches down on water, and near as I can tell, is the coolest fucking trick weather knows.

Waterspout near Florida - photo via NOAA

And now for the best news I heard all day…

While many waterspouts form in the tropics, locations at higher latitude within temperate zones also report waterspouts, such as Europe and the Great Lakes.

So between the funnel cloud advisory, and my being all of three blocks away from Lake Michigan, I do believe Mr. Waterspout and I may finally become formally acquainted. See you in the eye of the storm, fuckers.