dedleg.com

Wassup, playas? Same ol’ story over here, I’m afraid. Been busy working… and not working… and not blogging very much either, apparently. If you hadn’t noticed, I’ve recently increased my relevancy by another 15% by joining the hordes of others already addicted to making commonplace photos of food look vintage on Instagram. I’m still not entirely sure where to draw the line when it comes to what I should shoot with Instagram, and what I should shoot with my real camera (yes, those still do exist). So I guess for now I’m operating under the loose guidelines that if I have my camera on me, I’ll use that, and if I only have my phone on me, I’ll use that. It’s stressful being this white and privileged, I gotta tell you.

Anyway, you can catch my grainier-than-normal photography on Instagram by following @dedleg, but you probably already figured that much out.

As for my aforementioned “normal” photography… well, you can catch that right here. Or from one night of unprotected sex, 3 (debatably intoxicated) out of 48 doctors agree. Remember, one small choice can change your life for the itchier.

Looks like we’re finally coming to the end of the trail here, as far as these camping photos from last month are concerned. What timing, too, as my intestinal tract seems to have only just recovered from the days on end of eating nothing but encased meat and baked beans, washing it down with nothing but beer and black coffee, and avoiding the rudimentary toilet (read: hole in the middle of the woods filled with festering human waste) at all costs, even if it meant inviting colon cancer in through the back door, as it were.

Why was shitting in the woods a nonoption, you may ask? Well, feast your eyes on the creature below. A couple of these bad boys were hanging out by the river the same weekend we were there — only they had set up camp under the toilet seat. Figured I’d let them use the facilities in peace. Seemed only polite.

An experienced camper will tell you: you never know what kind of creepy crawlies you might find in your shoes after a night in the woods. They’ll also tell you that if you’ve been bitten, it’s probably already too late to save you. Fortunately for me, this guy had already hopped over to the great cobweb in the sky. Any more alive-looking and this not-so-little fucker would be, well, alive!

All quiet on the St. Croix River. Well, except for the faint buzzing of a swarm of gnats fucking overhead… fortunately the camera doesn’t do the elegant mating dance of the common flying insect justice.

A closer look at the encased meats I was talking about earlier. Looking at these stuffed tubes of animal byproducts and miscellaneous carcinogens now, I’m beginning to understand why we usually waited until nightfall to cook dinner…

And like the campers before us, we were sure to leave nothing but smoldering ruins in the fire pit for the next pack of explorers to investigate. Now what are you waiting for? Go make some absurd stories of your own, while it’s still warm enough for them not to inevitably end with an epilogue detailing your urine-soaked long johns and frostbitten fingertips.

Much like my city of residence, the Internet never sleeps. It just gets really, really boring sometimes. Unlike my city of residence, on the Internet, those times generally occur after the close of business on weekday evenings. When people aren’t at work they really don’t have much of a reason to procrastinate, which is the Internet’s primary reason for existence, and so, they probably aren’t on the computer and are off living their lives (unless they’re, like, a total nerd). I have no idea how people used to get through an eight-hour day at the desk before the dawn of the Internet… I mean, I guess they just did their jobs (???). Weird.

In any case, I care about the Internet, because without it, I have no idea how I’d get through an eight-hour day at the desk. And because I care about keeping the Internet as interesting as possible, I’m disregarding every blogging best practice I’ve ever learned and updating at one in the morning. Indeed, I will light up the night with sunset photography, because otherwise, the sun would never set on the Internet. I mean, aside from Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook and pretty much every other self-indulgent mode of expression encased within these three w’s that loves sunset photography, which, I guess, is practically the entire Internet anyway, come to think of it… but, uh, whatever. On with the flicks for fuck’s sake. If nothing else, they’ve got to be at least more interesting than a bunch of dumb words.

Quick tip: when posting routine, dime-a-dozen sunset photos, include periphery shots to provide context, keep things visually interesting, and add to the ambiance. When it comes to sunsets, ambiance is everything… actually, particulate matter in the atmosphere is everything, but that sounds less attractive. When scouting for periphery shots, ask yourself the following questions: How was the lighting in your one-bedroom apartment? How did the soft, golden glow emanating from your curtains fill the room? How high were you? Ultimately, it’s that last one that matters most, but they all play an important role.

Finally picking up the camping coverage I so hastily dropped the ball on a couple weeks ago. I’ve been a bit negligent as far as my arts and farts and crafts go, to be honest. On the flip side (no pun intended… actually, just kidding, it was totally intentional) I’ve been skateboarding a lot more. This is kind of how my creative ebb and flow goes. I’ll skateboard heavily for a few weeks, inevitably hurt myself somehow, then draw my little doodles and shoot photos more often for a few weeks while my stupid leg heals, and the cycle repeats itself. Maintaining a creative journal (that’s art code for “diary”, btw) / flatlining blogging enterprise is quite the balancing act… it’s not unlike skateboarding, in that respect. But that’s about where the similarities end though, because in all honesty, skateboarding is approximately a thousand times cooler than running a blog or even using the term “creative journal,” semi-ironically or not.

Anyway, onto the pictures of trees and shit.

Technically, this is a picture of a tree. Think about it. Sorry to any trees in the audience, this is probably hard to look at.

In case you were wondering, yes, I am the mayor of St. Croix Falls campsite S 63.4 on foursquare. The perks are insane. You can wipe with all the leaves you want!

And this is the last guy who tried to usurp my throne.

You might not recognize these strange things. Understandably so, they’re from before your time. They’re called “games” and primitive peoples used to “play” them, before video games and the Internet existed. Those symbols on the die are called “letters,” and they were once used to form “words,” that people would then “read.” This must all sound crazy to you, I know. We’ll take it slow.

Yeah, that’s right. Couldn’t get away without a sunset shot. What the fuck is the point of taking pictures at all anyway if you ignore the camera’s primary reason to exist? Sure, sunsets might happen literally every day, so as far as meteorological events go they’re not particularly novel enough to demand photographic recording, and yet they so do. At least as far as this creative journalist is concerned.

Figured it was about time I put up some actual content, even just so you guys know the “Ded” part of “Dedleg” isn’t more than just a cute name. Fret not, my devoted dedlings, for I am very much alive. I just might not feel like it all that much these days, but that’s about to change quite quickly…

For now, however, here are a few photos from my recent sojourn up to Lake George, where I spent a much-needed few days being reminded that crazy people in the city don’t have shit on crazy people in the country, drinking lukewarm beer with Bigfoot in the great outdoors, and sunburning my back until its parched skin’s texture was not entirely unlike dried fruit. None of these photos will be quite as interesting as the events described above, but I guess that’s just more proof of why recording memories will never truly live up to actually living through them in the first place.

Another needless experiment in my ongoing “Taking pictures out of moving vehicles is hard” series.

We arrived under the cover of darkness, the blackest of shadows creeping behind us in our wake. Just how I like it. And let me tell you, “darkness” takes on new, darker meaning 200 miles from the city. It really helps you appreciate the familiar, artificial glow of neon signage like never before.

I’ve woken up to worse views…

Like I said, I’ve woken up to worse views. Take this one for example. Ah, nature. No one does creepy quite as beautifully as you.

I’ll have a few more assorted flicks from my trip later this week, I presume. And within the next couple of weeks, you should see Dedleg gradually returning to its regularly scheduled programming, which has been irregular as fuck for the better part of a year now. I recently resigned from my position as a productive member of society, so this is my last week of “normal” work. Now I can return to my life’s work, which is, obviously, my devoted study of how long a single human man can stay intoxicated by the effects of smoked marijuana. It’s exhaustive work, but I’m doing it for the good of science, and that helps me get through the days. Well, that, and Combos. Preferably pizza flavor, but the nacho variety aren’t too bad either.

You know that sunset I was talking about yesterday? Well it can suck this sunset’s ass.

In case it, somehow, wasn’t already abundantly obvious, I don’t prescribe to the “seen one sunset, seen ‘em all” school of thought. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m more of a sunsets-as-Pokemon kind of guy. You know, gotta see ‘em all… or at least try. And maybe one day, I’ll finally be able to call myself a true sunset master.

‘Sup.

What’d you cats get into this weekend?

Personally, I’ve been spending too much of my summer from this side of the shades. Nonetheless, whoever invented good afternoon light was a very smart man / woman / divine progenitor (if you believe in fairytales, that is).

But you know what I believe in? The direct descendent of good afternoon light, sunsets like this one. They’re the only greater power I need. This one paired quite nicely with a crisp summer ale and a vaporizer loaded with fresh greens.

To me, these two photos together are the pictorial representation of a week ending. Maybe they aren’t to you, but you’re not curating this fucking blog, so try to see things my way as long as the address bar up top still says “www.dedleg.com.”

And for the record, feel free to see things my way even if your browser’s address bar doesn’t say “www.dedleg.com.” I just can’t guarantee that you’re going to like it. And if you don’t know what a browser or an address bar is, or how you even got here… I am so, so profoundly sorry.

Sometimes, after a long work week with only a little free time to spare, you’ve got to fall back on your old standbys. As you might have guessed, my old standbys are beer and a good sunset. And I’m not talking about falling back on them merely as a means to generate blog content, either. Hell, the reality is, I’d probably be generating more blog content if I wasn’t falling back on my old standbys right about now.

Well… sheeit. Looks like my month’s off to a late start. And I can’t exactly say April went out with a bang here at Dedleg International. What’s that saying again? April’s slacking brings May’s lacking? Hm… that doesn’t sound very good at all. In any case, here are a few photos to break the seal.

I was trying to take a photo of the bus coming down the street, but he assumed I was waiting for the bus. A fair assumption, considering I was standing at a bus stop, looking down the street, waiting for the bus. I must admit, I felt sort of like the goonish epitome of a white art kid when he pulled up and I was all like, “Oh, sorry, sorry, I was just taking a photo,” while pushing up my thick plastic-framed glasses.

This sure has a bit of that old The Shining look going on… but I assure you, that’s only rust. Although… I guess rust is sort of like the blood of a building, slowly being eaten from the outside by oxidation. And that’s kind of gory in an anthropomorphic way.

Okay, back to slacking.

Good day, girls and ghouls. Here’s a fairly random assortment of photos from the weekend.

The Empire State Building was green on 4/20. Coincidence? I think not!

Where do birds go when they need to migrate home in the spring? To the train station, dummy! Duh!

Been doing a little light reading lately.

Rain, rain, go away, so I can go skateboarding today.

Papa Dedleg’s off to a slow start this week, but here’s a quick shot of photos to stimulate your senses. And I promise I’ll try to bring the heat tomorrow. Hey, that’s what I promise myself every morning when I wake up — bring the heat, and fix that annoying drippy thing the sink is doing. Yep, I’ve been saying that little mantra to myself for the past 6 years! And it’s never failed to inspire. Really do gotta fix that sink thing one of these days, though.

Speaking of mantras, this is some heavy shit as far as vandalism goes. This next example, however… not so much.

Heh, I’m telling you, Subway ad defacement art is as good as “street art” gets for me. Simple, to-the-point, and almost always hilarious. Who would have thought blacking out somebody’s tooth would just always be funny?

Obligatory sunset photo.

That’s that. And fuck the sink, anyhow. Now that I got this over with, I’ve got some drawing to do.

In celebration of this week’s apparent incredible weather, I figured I’d post some long unpublished photos from my winter-getaway trip to Florida just about a year ago. This year, I figured, why go to Florida, when Florida will come to you in the third week of March? I mean, never mind the fact that most of New York City will probably be underwater in 100 years and, like, the apocalypse will be upon us and shit; I’m just trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

You know - Mondays, whether you’re in Florida or New York City or some far flung corner of the universe - really aren’t all that bad when it’s 66 degrees and you don’t have to go in to the office…