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Gimme all your money, all your drugs and kisses too.

That’s how that ZZ Top song goes, right? No? Well… it should.

Got a nice little surprise in the mail yesterday…

Good thing too, because papa needed a new pair of shoes. My old joints have nearly skated their last. To be honest, they probably have skated their last already, but I just like to torture ‘em.

Looks like I needed some sole redemption!

Anyway, like a Norwegian friend of mine sometimes says, “Thank you very big.”

Indeed, very big thanks to Ryan at The Berrics and, of course, the one and only HUF for making this incredible reality a… well, a reality. I’m proud to call myself a dirtbag. People always called me that anyway, for years now, actually. So, really, you’re not looking at just any dirtbag here. In the words of an old ex-girlfriend anyway, I’m King Dirtbag himself. ‘Bout time listening to all those angry voicemails paid off.

Hope you all enjoyed a weekend of grilled animal parts and drinking outdoors — I’m pretty sure it’s your civic duty, actually, considering all the people who had to die just so you could have yesterday off. Personally, my Memorial Day was bloody fantastic.

Just a flesh wound, and a dainty one at that, but it’s not everyday you have some real, live, human blood on a skull and crossbones tattoo, so it seemed wrong not to photograph it.

When it comes to orange soda, my favorite kind is Slice, and by now you should know I’m not one to say no to a slice of pizza, but this kind of slice? Now this is where I draw the line… in blood.

Ah, Friday. A happy ending if I ever knew one.

That’s all for today, chums. What, you expect me to actually do work or something on this sacred and blessed day? People who work 9-to-5 jobs don’t work on Fridays, so you’re sure as shit not going to catch a bum-ass freelancer like myself breaking a sweat, unless I have, like, a really hard time opening a beer or something.

If you knew what I’ve been cooking up all afternoon, you’d be psyched. At least I hope you’d be psyched, because I didn’t stand here slaving over the stove all day for nothing!

Anyway… I have some more “baking” to do, you might say. More later.

Is there a support group for people obsessed with skulls? Preferably one that doesn’t involve former cannibals or meet outside of the Hot Topic in the mall, but I don’t know, that might be asking for too much. Eh, it’s probably too late to help me now, anyway. Might as well just embrace it. Hey… speaking of which!

So yeah, it’s been a skull-heavy couple of weeks… years. It’s been a skull-heavy couple of years. Look, I might not be able to quit skulls, but I can - if nothing else - expand my skull-stained repertoire. Why try to cut skulls out of my art, when I can just proliferate them throughout the rest of my life so the fact that they make up 98% of my work is less noticeable? That’ll totally be less weird. Okay, I’m going to stop talking about skulls now… well, for now, anyway.

You got that right, another skull drawing. Hey, what do you want from me? It’s the only thing I know how to draw… besides, like, bones. Plus, I had to get something up here instead of those flowers. I just can’t afford to tarnish this tough guy image I’ve got going on any more than I already have.

Decided to do this little doodle up in Cub Scouts of America colors, because, aside from being a lover of flowers, I’m also, apparently, a pederast

Just kidding, just kidding! I promise to post, like, tons of pictures of vaginas soon to make up for it, and not only because I’m afraid there might not be enough to go around on Tumblr already.

Had a dream a few nights ago that I had forgotten how to skate. Could barely even pop the tail. That can’t be a good sign.

Nonetheless, between that and the sudden, full-blown arrival of spring this week, I’ve been a pretty dedicated overgrown skaterat. In fact, so dedicated I went and made myself good and sore in the days leading up to today… the first 70-degree day of the year. If there has ever been a stronger call to go skateboarding than 70-degrees, I, for one, have not heard it.

Like a werewolf shivering at the sight of the full moon passing between the clouds, each drop of blood in its veins vibrating, ready to explode, my body tingles with longing, the sound of urethane rolling across the asphalt ringing in my ears… and yet, I feel like I’m made out of petrified wood. Even just taking the few short steps over to the bong seems like an impossible feat, so you know how serious I am.

Perhaps my dream was in fact a vision, a premonition of today’s skate session, where my heavy, sluggish legs flop around on the board like clumsy tendrils. Unable to even muster the strength to ollie properly… unable to do anything at all except fall all over the place, inducing an even more paralytic state of soreness. Or perhaps it was just a nightmare, my anxious subconscious wringing its hands because it’s got skating on the mind. Hey, there’s only one way to find out…

It’s long been one of my personal guidelines in running this Internet funtime operation, that when all else fails, I should just draw a skull. Hey, it’s worked for this long and nobody’s complained.

Just a quick little logo project to stoke the flames… more later.

Ironically, this song was playing while I was writing this post… seemed too coincidental to ignore. You know, that whole second half of the song where dude says “you’re so cold” like a thousand times in a row? That part. Good song though.

The Strokes - Juicebox

After an unprecedented (but perhaps precedent-setting) 2 weeks or something, I finally found the time to do a new drawing. This one’s inspired by my recent sinking realization, thanks to yesterday’s relentless, bone-chilling winds, that winter is not only here to stay, but that it’s probably only going to get worse. Nonetheless, just-scratching-50-degree temperatures are on the forecast for the weekend. If you care about skateboarding, or even if you just care about going outside and not immediately being in pain, you probably should take advantage of not only the last weekend of 2011, but what just may be the last good weather weekend for the next 3 months.

It’s been so long since I last drew, I almost forgot how.

Seemed like the best place to begin my drawing journey after an unintentional hiatus would be in familiar territory. And that’s how I ended up spending last night at Skull Island — the hours just flew by. Honestly, it’s a wonderful place, and I remember now why I used to spend so much time there.