Posts Tagged "Skateboarding"


Hot to trot

You know what’s so great about a new pair of Vans? They’re fresh and ready to skate, right out of the box! Just gotta heat ‘em up!

vans in oven Hot to trot

Psych! This is definitely not a recommended usage. They do taste good if you baste them with a bourbon marinade first, though.

No kidding about that ready to skate, right out of the box factor, though. The board feel on a pair of Vans Eras is the truth. It’s basically like skating barefoot, if skating barefoot wasn’t excruciatingly painful.

Big thanks to my kindly master, Ryan, over at that little skateboarding website you might have heard of that I write for on a weekly basis for hooking this one up for me. I’ve skated exclusively in Vans - save for a couple notable freebies here and there - for my entire skateboarding experience (one could hardly call it a career), so getting a pair on the house is kind of like getting a free beer after tipping a bartender all night. Not necessarily expected, but when it happens, you feel like you earned it, and you want to shake the hand of the bartender, or purveyor of skateboarding-appropriate footwear, and say, “Thank you for being such a gosh darned decent human being.”


United we stall

Howdy, folks. Apologies for the sort of irregular posting schedule going on lately. As usual, I’ve been up to my third eye in shit, and I’ve also been eating a lot of cheese. Nonetheless, I was doodling a bit in my sketchbook towards the wee hours last night. You know, the time that you normally wake up and need to wee if you went to bed at a normal time. Anyway, here’s one little scribble that managed to escape the page…

dedleg flag united we fall United we stall

That’s not supposed to be pessimistic, so much as realistic. To skate, is to fall. Even Daewon Song, hard as it may be to believe, sometimes falls. We all do it, so why not take pride in the pain? It is our birthright.


Death becomes you

Am I breathing napalm? Ah yes. Do my shins and ankles fill like they’re buried in wet cement when I walk? Seems so. Do I feel utterly drained and yet… dare I say it… happy? The only logical deduction here is that I must be skateboarding regularly again.

zombie self portrait Death becomes you

You know, it’s incredible, but after 12 years I still can’t believe how much getting a shinner hurts.

Time flies when you’re getting the shit kicked out of you by your skateboard, I guess.

Riding the train home from a somewhat merciless session at the recently reopened LES skatepark the other night, a trio of kind of bummy little kids fighting over a bag of Cheetos and half a bottle of water sat down next to me. Typically I hate being near other human beings during my commute, especially so if I’ve just been skating since I tend to stink up my corner of the car like a ballsac on fire, which only reaffirms the average subway rider’s small-minded view that all skateboarders are drunken ruffians who smell like burning ballsacs, but these three little mongrels were actually a relief since they kind of smelled like balls too. However, it didn’t take long, as I feared, for the biggest and boldest amongst them to chirp up, “You skateboard?”

Historically, this has struck me as a very odd question directed towards someone with a very well-worn skateboard in hand. But then I noticed the excessively dapper dingus staring at me kind of hungrily from across the train - gripping his shiny new longboard, no less - and it occurred to me it might not be such a strange question after all. It made me realize, while I definitely stink, in a literal sense, and maybe even a little at skateboarding too, at the very least, I don’t suck, like, in general.


Arts and farts and skateboarding

You might not have guessed this about me from reading the blog, but I like art, and I like skateboarding. They’re my two favorite hobbies, and although I’m quite passionate about them, I really don’t write about them or share them on the Internets too much. That’s just not what I’m about. Wizard Skull though? Now that’s a guy who’s all about sharing, which is why he’s got a show in Bushwick tonight at Silkys Brooklyn, inside The Loom. Everybody’s who’s nobody knows Bushwick’s, like, the premiere artsy fartsy destination in the city for twenty-something-year-old scum bags, which basically means, you know where you need to be tonight!

wizard skull art show flyer Arts and farts and skateboarding

The Loom is at Flushing & Knickerbocker, a dilapidated corner literally crawling with “creative types” and “mustaches,” so it should be a pretty good time. The shit kicks off at 7:00pm, so be there, or go be inebriated somewhere else, I guess!

Facebook also claims there will be a “special skateboard demonstration,” which probably means a bunch of sweaty, half-drunk dudes will be fucking around in the street, but what do I know. I’m not Facebook, so I don’t know everything, unlike Facebook, who knows everything and everyone. Facebook even knows my face… it even knows your face, fuck face. They don’t call it fucking Facebook for nothing! What, you thought that was just a cute name? No! Facebook will fuck with your face! Fuck, Facebook will fuck your face! Get used to it!


Sunny Delight

You know, sometimes it’s nice to go outside.

bathing suit on rocks hudson river Sunny Delight

Here are a few more photos from my trip up to Lake George a couple weeks ago. Real outdoorsman shit. Hiking through poison-ivy infested woods, drinking Budweiser, swimming in rivers — the Hudson River, in fact! Just the part farther upstream, before it gets all needley and dead-body-wearing-concrete-shoesy.

wildflowers close up Sunny Delight

hudson river Sunny Delight

Shit was reminding me of Lord of the Rings and shit, I was loving it.

no skateboards sign Sunny Delight

Unfortunately, it seems, no matter how far you get away, some things never change.


The Gambler

Here’s a closer look at the design adorning the front of our Skateboarding Scratch Off T-Shirt. Perhaps you’ll disagree upon scrutinization, but I’m of the opinion that it’s just too damn good not to give it some shine, especially for all the cheapskates out there who wouldn’t otherwise get the opportunity to see it up close and personal.

skateboarding scratch off ticket The Gambler

The Skateboarding Scratch Off Tee, along with the other three shirts in our Summer 2012 collection are up for grabs in the store. Ultimately, it’s probably a much better investment than an actual scratch off ticket. I trust you know what to do. The Internet was made for shopping. Well, and porn. And Nigerian email con jobs. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to you spending your hard earned money, which is really all that matters to me.


Profoundly Superior and Advanced

There’s art, and then there’s art. And this, this is something else entirely.

osiris d3 usb cable laces Profoundly Superior and Advanced

I think… I think it might be a monster? Are monsters real? YOU SAID MONSTERS WEREN’T REAL!

pair of OSIRIS d3 shoes with USB cable SHOELACES (Size 9) Profoundly Superior and Advanced (Unique)

Lightly used Osiris D3 skate shoes with USB cables for shoelaces for advanced level stunting purposes only.

You can thank this freak of nature’s existence to New York artist/skateboarder/mad scientist, Brad Troemel. And, like so many other genetic experiments gone awry, you can buy it on etsy! And that’s not the only abomination in this man’s “store,” which, I think we can all agree, is more like a circus sideshow!

Where to begin? Oh, well, of course! How could we forget this delicious masterwork?

doritos locos taco master locked shut Profoundly Superior and Advanced

DORITOSLOCOS taco from Taco Bell MASTER LOCKED shut (Key Sold Separately for $5).
Not organic, sorry!

Hey, if I had a Doritos Locos Taco, I’d probably want to lock it up, too. Smart move.

But his finest creation? Undeniably, irrefutably, the Doublesided Griptaped Skateboard Deck.

double sided griptape board Profoundly Superior and Advanced


Darkslide everything with a double sided griptaped skateboard.

To learn more about fire:

Surely this is the most significant advancement in board technology that skateboarding has ever seen.

It scares me a little bit, but I’m glad there’s somebody out there willing to push the boundaries of what’s possible, or even ethical. What’s that Ian Malcolm quote from Jurassic Park? Ah, yes, “your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.” I think the same thing applies here.

ian malcolm laughs Profoundly Superior and Advanced



dedleg skateboard logo stack Stacked

It’s been a little slow around here, and no, it’s not some kind of Flowers For Dedleg-style mental regression. No, instead, a regression into consumerism and the constant need for monetary income have become my masters. Nonetheless, we’ve got some shit gestating behind the scenes that just needs a little bit more time in the womb. It’s a bit like they say, if you can’t beat ‘em… join ‘em. You’ll see what I mean soon enough.


Style Wars

In the first decade of the 21st Century, somewhere between the introduction of increasingly affordable, high-quality digital cameras and the advent of social networks with a strong emphasis on photo-sharing, our generation became fucking obsessed with having its picture taken. Nowhere was this more apparent than in New York City… actually, scratch that. Nowhere was this more apparent than in the mirrors of teenagers’ bathrooms the nation over. Nonetheless, coming close on the heels of mirror-assisted self-portraiture was New York City nightlife photography, where every doofus draped in neon vied for their chance to appear on the Misshapes homepage looking hip, a.k.a. tired and starving.

It should go without saying that everybody in New York is obsessed with themselves, so it’s not strange that people would like having their photo taken on the street by a man with a trendy haircut, cropped pants, and billowing scarf, for thousands of drones on the Internet to repost on their Tumblrs, leaving notes that echo with their surprising depth. Deceptively simple statements, such as “love <3″ speak volumes about whatever pattern or material the poster is, like, really into at the time. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before somebody took the street fashion formula and applied it to skateboarding. And here it is that we find ourselves facing the inevitable: The Skartorialist.

the skartorialist samples Style Wars

[photos via The Skartorialist]

Granted, it’s a British blog, so none of that New York shit really applies… or does it? The blog’s a veritable who’s who of gentleman skateboarders, done up in the style of, you guessed it, the OG - maybe even the triple OG - of street fashion blogs, The Sartorialist, which is based out of New York. Seems like The Skartorialist is mostly Euros, but that’s not really a shock. Not because of the blog’s membership in the European Union, but just because they would be the first to do some shit like this.

I guess it’s no surprise. I mean, let’s just look at the facts: skateboarders are 1) considerably cooler than most people living in this godforsaken city, and 2) consistently manage to be extremely fashion-forward while still not looking like total fucking douche bags (although that sometimes does happen, too). We’re a young, quasi-dangerous, trend-forecasting demographic that the fashion illumanti would love to get their claw-tipped, jewel-encrusted fingers on. Let’s just try not to forget that once the mainstream finds some new attractive subculture to prey upon, as it always does, they’ll toss us out quicker than those all-over-print sweatshirts. Personally, I’m looking forward to it.

We were all better off once all-over-print went the way of the all-over-print dinosaurs, and there’s a lesson to be learned there, I think.

the fartorialist large Style Wars

An old illustration from The Archives of The Ded comes to mind — The Fartorialist, 2009

Look, mainstream fashion has been biting our shit for years. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it, and it certainly doesn’t mean we have to actively participate in the circus. The Amish don’t let tourists take their picture, maybe we should try the same, considering our happy acceptance of the act really is stealing skateboarding’s soul. We could all do well to remember it’s a skateboard, not this season’s hottest accessory… even though it kind of is that as well.

Wait. Hold on a second. The Skartorialist? I don’t even know what skartboarding is! Oh, fuck, I had this shit mixed up with skateboarding the whole time! False alarm… I guess.


Killing It, Both Figuratively and Literally

Here’s a drawing I did today for a bigger project I’m working on. My lips are sealed for now, lest I incur the wrath of our kickflipping ghost with the most, but I will say the world will almost certainly be a better place once it’s done.

grim reaper kickflip Killing It, Both Figuratively and Literally

If you ever wanted to know what the Grim Reaper wears under his robe, well, wonder no more. He rocks basketball shorts, obviously. It’s all about comfort when you’re the harbinger of death. It’s not an easy job.



Had a dream a few nights ago that I had forgotten how to skate. Could barely even pop the tail. That can’t be a good sign.

bruised banged bloodied up Bleeder

Nonetheless, between that and the sudden, full-blown arrival of spring this week, I’ve been a pretty dedicated overgrown skaterat. In fact, so dedicated I went and made myself good and sore in the days leading up to today… the first 70-degree day of the year. If there has ever been a stronger call to go skateboarding than 70-degrees, I, for one, have not heard it.

Like a werewolf shivering at the sight of the full moon passing between the clouds, each drop of blood in its veins vibrating, ready to explode, my body tingles with longing, the sound of urethane rolling across the asphalt ringing in my ears… and yet, I feel like I’m made out of petrified wood. Even just taking the few short steps over to the bong seems like an impossible feat, so you know how serious I am.

Perhaps my dream was in fact a vision, a premonition of today’s skate session, where my heavy, sluggish legs flop around on the board like clumsy tendrils. Unable to even muster the strength to ollie properly… unable to do anything at all except fall all over the place, inducing an even more paralytic state of soreness. Or perhaps it was just a nightmare, my anxious subconscious wringing its hands because it’s got skating on the mind. Hey, there’s only one way to find out…