Posts Tagged "skate parks"

07.31.2012

Color Theory

Hi. Welcome to Reblog Tuesdays™, a terrible idea for feature that I will personally make sure does not become recurring. The thing is, Papa Dedleg feels like rewarding himself with some much-needed skateboarding and that means instead of sitting inside drawing like some kind of nerd, I’m going to go draw motherfucking skid marks on the streets of New York City, bitch!

And speaking of skateboarding… a few days ago I posted up some of the worst skateparks ever created. Well, it’s about damn time we crawled out from the darkness and into the light at the other end of that spectrum. This technicolored twilight zone practically had me making skid marks in my pants! Where the hell is this place located? Heaven?

incredible skate park Color Theory

[spotted via crailtap]

Maybe it’s just the bright colors winning me over. Or, heck, I guess it could also be the idyllic, tropical mountain range rising out of the distance. But something tells me that even without those things, this little concrete wonderland would still be one of the most breathtaking places on earth. I mean, really, this thing is so damn sexy it’s got me gleaming the cube over here.

Unless it’s all fake, of course… a Photoshopped phantasm… some “mockup” of “what a skate park might look like here” to point at with a stick during some developer’s “board meeting.” Dear god it’s a thought I cannot bear let alone believe.

07.26.2012

Freak Show

Skate parks, love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re certainly not going anywhere. With more of them popping up pretty much everywhere by the year (seriously, they’ve even got them in Uganda and shit now), more skaters than ever are being exposed to them. Growing up, I remember practically salivating as I paged through the latest issue of Thrasher, eyes darting back and forth across the photos of utopian concrete wonderlands as if it was all some vintage pornography I found stashed in the back shed. The truth is, the megalithic bowl complexes out in the Pacific Northwest made the waterlogged 70s bush I found out in the shed seem even less appetizing than it already did. And they certainly weren’t doing any favors for my local “skate park,” which was little more than a collection of shoddily assembled, scalding hot metal ramps strewn about in a sandy parking lot. But over the years, and thanks to skateboarding’s increasing mainstream popularity, the state of the skate park nation has changed. Or has it?

I’ve got to thank my buddies over at Jenkem for tipping me off about this eyesore a couple days ago. In fact, that’s probably the only time anybody’s ever thanked another person for passing along information about this park, so I’m feeling pretty good about my accomplishments so far today.

terrible skatepark1 Freak Show

Seriously, who’s responsible for designing this one? Sadomasochist Skateparks International? These people should be held accountable for their crimes. This is an abomination, its very existence a scar on the earth’s tortured flesh.

terrible skatepark2 Freak Show

Here’s another angle at some of the park’s other “attractions.” For the record, the rough translation of “attractions” into whatever harsh Eastern European language they speak in the barren land that this monstrosity calls home is “torture rack.” Just some food for thought.

Look, I’m all for inciting progression in skateboarding, but this just seems a little mean-spirited. That said, I’d love to see somebody try to ride it. Maybe boost off the kicker, over the flat, and onto the rail? Although an unlikely feat for anyone who isn’t Brandon Westgate or something, it still doesn’t seem nearly as ridiculous a prospect as the process of designing this park must have been.

In a world full of skate parks and very few people who actually understand skateboarding, at least some of them are guaranteed to be heaping steamers. And like the glutton for punishment that I am (aren’t all skateboarders a little bit anyway?), I couldn’t help but pursue a quest to find more of these shocking insults to the art of skate park building. It took me down the dankest, darkest corridors of the Internet where only the vilest filth sees fit to live. Fitting then, considering the “parks” I found there. Some of them are so insane they could be considered abstract art. Others practically skate-stop themselves. Indeed, not even a rollerblader would dare set boot in these foul places.

pool with rails in it Freak Show

So this is some next level shit. Build a perfect, shallow pool, and then fill the flat bottom with rails and other assorted death traps so nobody can use any of it! But I guess at least it would keep you on your toes. Really no clue what the fuck they were thinking with those poles though. Maybe in case it floods and sharks come? I don’t know. Surf’s up, dude.

steep bank with rail Freak Show

Wonder what’s gone down on this? A couple wallies?

steep bank with rail stretched Freak Show

But wait… if you stretch it to about 300% its width, it starts to look like something somebody could actually ride. Although that rail is still a fucking Million-Dollar-Baby-in-the-making as far as I’m concerned…

crappy halfpipe setup Freak Show

I think they must have put the fence around this “halfpipe” to contain it, kind of like the contamination zone they set up around Chernobyl after the reactor meltdown. Nothing can survive there for long. Yes, you would do well to stay far, far away from there.

weird halfpipe Freak Show

Speaking of halfpipes, I don’t know what the fuck this thing is supposed to be, but I’d actually be kind of psyched to skate that. For like 10 whole minutes.

metal spine Freak Show

Don’t get me wrong. By any objective standard, this thing is fucking awful. But I’m still willing to bet I could have some fun on it. Until I fell on it and got covered in second degree burns, anyway.

See, a little relativity will fuck you up. That metal spine might look like a good way to bruise your tailbone and not much else, but the reality is, things could be so much worse…

dirt patch skatepark Freak Show

What’s that anonymous dirt path to nowhere, you might ask? A close up of the sign towards the back might provide some insight…

skatepark sign Freak Show

I love that they have the gall to require helmets. What… in case one of the nearby trees falls on you?

So, complain about how crowded your local skate park might be during these long summer months when droves of kids on scooters are out of school and set loose on the fine quarterpipes of this country, but never take for granted the fact that you’ve got a skate park worth crowding. Indeed, you could very easily have the entire afternoon to yourself at one of the aforementioned tantalizing destinations, but… would you really even want to? That sounds almost more like a punishment than a good session, if you ask me. I might be a glutton for punishment, but even I’ve got to draw the line somewhere. Personally, I’d rather be sent to bed without any dinner.

06.20.2012

You have to see it for yourself

morpheus les skate park You have to see it for yourself

In what surely must be a record in speedy skate park construction, the renovated LES park is set to open this Thursday, which just so happens to be Go Skateboarding Day. Hell of a coincidence, huh? Until you stop to think about how there are no coincidences. I do not see coincidence, I see providence. I see purpose. I believe it is our fate to be here. It is our destiny.

Of course, you won’t want to actually go skating there on Go Skateboarding Day, as the crowds will resemble a swarm from a zombie outbreak inside the Staples Center during the summer 2025 X Games. But on some random summer day, before all the grime and infectious disease settles back into the dark corners of the park, it should be a downright lovely place to spend a few hours sweating it out. Plus, if you’re a crusty, old transition guy, you might be in luck considering most skateboarders under 20-years-old don’t know how to skate a quarter pipe.

les park1 You have to see it for yourself

les park2 You have to see it for yourself

[Skate park photos via Homage Brooklyn]

All that new concrete and transition is looking mighty fine. Now all we can do is hope they took care of that god-awful smell while they were at it.

05.30.2012

This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

Hi, everyone. Welcome to today’s exciting edition of “Spots That Suck.” As you know, a lot of talk goes on around these “Internets” about the hottest new skate destinations. Want to know what’s even more fun than that?! Making fun of skate don’t-stinations!

head in hand This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

First up, the worst skate park on Earth. Seriously. If there is one, this has literally got to be it.

worst skate park ever This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

[image via pyrex-vision]

I mean, I heard all terrain skating is in, but you’ve gotta be kidding me, brah.

But wait… for 100 bucks, you can get your very own worst half pipe on Earth!

terrible craigslist ramp This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

Bicycle Jump Ramp or Skateboard ramp. $100 OBO
Kids don’t use anymore. Surface is painted with a little bit of texture and in good shape.
12′ long x 4′ wide. One end is 5′ high the other end is 6′ high.
Delivery can be arranged if needed.

Can’t believe the kids don’t use it anymore! I wonder if it comes with any home videos of them using it before the accident (I’m assuming there was an accident). Better move fast if you want it.

Seriously, though, somebody better buy it because my mom’s giving me a ton of shit about getting it off the front lawn, so help me out here, guys.

And you know what? I’m going to nominate this latest ad from Poler, even though the ad sure doesn’t suck, because that spot really does. Not that I don’t enjoy looking at Michal Juras risk his life an’ all.

michal juras poler ad This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

Actually, I don’t think that even counts as a spot for like, 99% of the skateboarding population, so it probably doesn’t belong on this list. And while we’re debating cause for dismissal… um, is this even real? I’m not entirely convinced survival is even an option coming out of that thing. Looks like a clear-cut “splat”-grade scenario, if you ask me. Has anyone checked to see if Michal is still alive?

Eh, while we’re at it…

phil zwijsen carhartt ad This post brought to you by Skatestoppers®

All right, this has gone on long enough. I’m going to go skate some flat ground, and fall, probably.

04.16.2012

New Crust

As if Williamsburg’s prized DIY skate spot under the BQE wasn’t already considerably better than the skate park two blocks away, some extremely benevolent soul did New York City skateboarding a massive kindness and recently installed a new quarterpipe there. This one looks like the freakishly mutated big brother of the little quarter that’s been there for years, and considering the type of slime you often encounter while skating the BQE Lot, it wouldn’t really surprise me if that wasn’t the only freakish mutant you might find down there.

It should be noted that, like pretty much everything else at this spot, it’s probably a lot harder to skate than these guys are making it look. And it’s probably already soaked in bird shit, too. But that’s like, so totally part of the charm.

I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but almost more tantalizing than a new quarter pipe is that weird concrete rainbow that makes a brief cameo around 58 seconds in:

concrete rainbow bqe New Crust

Any new obstacle at the BQE Lot is cause for excitement, but this thing looks like a unique attraction, the likes of which you won’t find at any of the city’s legitimate concrete playgrounds, and fucking forget about finding a “real street” equivalent. Looks like people have been putting in some work at Brooklyn’s most notable DIY spot, and just in time for skate season to get in full swing. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to stop by and spend the afternoon getting filthy there.

Now, I’ve just got to keep my fingers crossed that nobody backs a car into it before I get a chance to get over there.

11.09.2011

The skate park sleeps alone tonight

The content around this shadowy corner of the Blogodrome is leaning extremely skate-heavy this week, so you have my apologies if you happen to be a nerd and aren’t interested in skateboarding. I think my propensity for posting skate-related content has an exact, inverse relationship with how often I actually get to go skating. Ahh, vicarious-living… it’s what the Internet is for!

owls head staff booth The skate park sleeps alone tonight

Since I had the afternoon off yesterday, I was planning on making the journey out to the new Far Rockaway park, since it looks like heaven. Appropriately, it’ll take you so long to get there by train there’s a good chance you’ll actually die en route, so it kind of makes sense. Unfortunately, darkness now falls around 11:45 am, ever since we turned the clocks back to the benefit of that small minority of the population that still grows their food in fields, as opposed to just finding it placed neatly within a box marked “10 Piece Chicken McNuggets” like normal people. So, with only a couple hours of daylight left, I decided wasting them trapped in New York’s black, cavernous nexus of subway tunnels was perhaps not my best course of action. Temperatures were in the 60s, and there isn’t going to be too much of that weather left in this calendar year, so instead I chose an alternate route.

Back before New York’s recent infestation of quality, concrete skate prisons, I used to occasionally mull over the idea of checking out the rough-around-the-edges bowl complex in Bay Ridge’s Owl’s Head park. However, as I was living in the Bronx at the time, the companion idea of having to spend hours trapped in New York’s black, cavernous nexus of subway tunnels always stopped me. But now, its relatively convenient location necessitated a trip. Lucky for me, the park was closed when I got there.

owls head skate park The skate park sleeps alone tonight

The skate park appears to be closed for the winter — I guess this must occur in tandem with the ceremonious shutting off of every water fountain in the city. The local gang of scooter kids didn’t have much information on the subject, though they were clear on one thing: the cops make a point to regularly patrol the area to make sure there aren’t any delinquents actually attempting to skate in the skate park. Great.

light through window fire coming out of chimney The skate park sleeps alone tonight

Unrelated, but for anybody wondering, yes, that is fire in the photo on the right. It was coming out of a large chimney in the Owl’s Head Water Pollution Control facility, which I have to assume is normal… like an eternal flame burning in memoriam of all the shit - and I mean literal, human shit - getting pulled out of the New York Harbor each day.

In any case, does this shit make sense to anybody else? The bowl-riding/potentially suicidal skater sect in New York is handily screwed between both Owl’s Head and Pier 60 getting locked up for the entire winter, which in this city, apparently starts on November 1st. The whole thing is doubly infuriating when the basketball court and playground down the path from the skate park are both open. In light of that fact, the “Closed” sign hanging around the skate park gate reads a whole lot more like “ATTN Skateboarders: Go fuck yourselves.”

What’s the point of spending money on a facility where you can cage in troublemaking skateboarders if you’re not even going to take advantage of it? You don’t need to wait to throw us in real jail for trespassing, guys. There’s a jail already built and we’re more than happy to go inside, if only you’d open the gate.

Needless to say, I hopped the fence and had a great time.

11.04.2011

Channel Street

Like any self-respecting skater who works at a computer all day, I spend a decent amount of time each week checking out Thrasher’s website. Burnout is easily my favorite section, but the real question is, why isn’t it yours? It’s a weekly stream of new skate photos, that aren’t shot within the confines of a warehouse or film set, what’s not to like here? The latest post, featuring the Channel Street skate park in San Pedro, is particularly great — there are a lot of seriously dope photos, each one blowing my mind all over again right after the last one already blew my mind… but anyway, here are a few of my favorites.

oscar bs boneless fake Channel Street

This is a backside boneless to fakie, and a particularly cool frame of one at that.

robbie russo no comply fs slash Channel Street

No comply frontside slash I’m guessing? Or perhaps it’s just a premature frontside tailslide… these elusive wild creatures can be easily mistaken in photographs.

robbie russo fs melon Channel Street

Just to reiterate — these are not my photos, but they sure are pretty anyway. More importantly, however… Robbie Russo is just, like, really good, huh?

08.23.2011

Still haven't gotten over you yet

Don’t get me wrong folks, skateboarding with friends is a lovely way to spend your time, but let’s face it — one of skateboarding’s primary appeals (at least to socially-incapable misanthropes like myself) is that it can be a very solitary activity. Long has the lifestyle appealed to the loner and outcast among us. And so, inspired by that, and the lyrics from The Go-Go’s “Vacation” as a subtle nod to the fading days of summer… my latest masterwork.

skateboarding vacation version2 Still havent gotten over you yet

Let it be known, should I ever, in a most unlikely scenario, have a skate part, the song would totally be “Vacation.” Hey, you don’t have that many options when you’re relegated to the “joke part” by default.

Anyway, while I was under the impression I went skateboarding for several hours yesterday, today I’m rather convinced I hallucinated this while I was, in actuality, getting beaten with chains by a crowd of thugs. In any case, no matter what the cause of my near total understanding of the word “sore,” one thing is for certain: The McCarren Skate Park is far too crowded.

I’m noticing the increasing appeal of the solitary nature of skateboarding a lot lately considering the skate park is starting to look like a giant pen full of anxious livestock. The trouble is as follows. There now inhabits the park, a constantly swelling population of BMXers, with a healthy contingent of children on scooters and the occasional rollerblader in tow. Skateboarders can now hardly be called the majority occupants of the park — we are now merely one species among several competing for the same hunting grounds. In fact, I felt my kind even somewhat threatened when some crude graffiti reading “Fuck woodpushers — save a tree, ride a bike” appeared on one of the banks overnight. It was kind of uncalled for, in my opinion.

When skaters are outnumbered at the skate park, can you even call it that anymore? Or is it just an eXtreme Youth Center now or some shit? Is this normal? Is this happening everywhere? Is this our subculture’s own fucked up version of a zombie apocalypse? I don’t plan to find out — I’ll be skating alone, thank you.

08.03.2011

Video Daze

Due to human nature all but forcing people to become either idiotic goons or narcissistic thugs in the presence of a video camera, filmers must constantly push their primal urges aside, which makes an impressive video project all the more inspiring to watch. How did he not suddenly stop, turn the camera around, and begin a crude dance consisting primarily of pelvic thrusts? How did nobody accidentally let a “Hi Mom!” slip?

In a time when the pervasive nature of streaming video seems to have made people even dumber than usual in front of cameras, videographers have consistently proven that there is more to the bond between human beings and cameras than sticking your tongue out or giving the middle finger. Indeed, so much more, you might even call it art. For example, this short film by Josh Maready is a fantastic combination of a camera, a human being, and something else notorious for misbehaving on video, a skateboard.

I love new perspectives, and despite all my years spent riding a skateboard I’ve never seen it look like this. Indeed, it would be impossible without potentially scalping yourself on the sidewalk, so good thing for GoPro cameras! The clip definitely captures the intensity of skating through New York City traffic, but the conclusion at the Chelsea Piers park is even more fun to watch. The various skateboarding media channels are bombarded with skate park clips now more than ever, so it’s great to see such a fresh take on a type of skate footage that is often regarded as boring to watch. Seeing things from the skateboard’s point of view is anything but.

08.02.2011

Skate stoppers at the bank, shawty whatchu thank?

The latest and local-est in semi-famous spots made extinct due to the ongoing struggle between decent, hard-working citizens and the relentless scourge that are skateboarders. Indeed, it’s hard to say we didn’t kind of indirectly cause this, but at the same time, who the hell cares that much about a crusty parking lot in the back of a bank besides skateboarders anyway? Sure, it’s not exactly on par with the destruction of Hubba Hideout, but if Brooklyn had a Hubba Hideout (or if Manhattan still had the Brooklyn Banks, for that matter) nobody would have to be skating this thing in the first place.

Congratulations, management of Williamsburg Chase, you may have dispelled your skateboarding pests, but in doing so you built a great set of recliners for roaming junkies to take a nod off, I mean take a load off.

wamu bank skate stopped Skate stoppers at the bank, shawty whatchu thank?

Image via Quartersnacks.com

Oh yeah, that looks so much better than this:

wamu bank Skate stoppers at the bank, shawty whatchu thank?

Image via Quartersnacks.com

If the whole purpose of skate stoppers are to prevent the “eyesore” of skateboarding, shouldn’t skate stoppers be, um, less of an eyesore?

At the very least, the new Rockaway Beach park is reportedly completed — no word yet on an official opening but I imagine it will be ready to be skated within the next couple weeks.

rockaway beach park completed Skate stoppers at the bank, shawty whatchu thank?

Image via nyskateboarding.com

That’s the way it goes, folks. Lose one legitimate street spot, pick up one more fenced-in adult playground. Don’t get me wrong — I love me some skate park, but the day skateboarding exists solely in parks will be the day skateboarding becomes… uh… extreme scootering? I’m actually not sure, but I am sure that whatever it is, it will be bad.

07.14.2011

We just pull up our pants and do The Rockaway

There’s no news like good news, and there’s no good news like news of another skate park being built in your city. If these photos (via Kuato Lives and Frank151) are any indication, the new concrete goliath in Rockaway Beach is going to be one hell of a ride. Ugh… I seriously regret writing that. The park really does look rather awesome, though, so that level of cheese may actually be almost warranted.

Plus, it’s literally right on the beach — doesn’t get much more authentically skate roots than that, brah!

rockaway beach park construction1 We just pull up our pants and do The Rockaway

Definitely a step up from the existing park in Far Rockaway, which, while better than nothing, isn’t exactly a skate destination:

old rockaway beach park We just pull up our pants and do The Rockaway

Then again, the thought of falling on steel that’s been cooking in the sun for hours was always great incentive to land tricks in my experience…

If you live in the area, I’m sure the prefab, sheet metal obstacles, obnoxious 4:30 PM closing time and helmet/pads mandate are a welcome addition to the bevy of local, ragged curb spots. Nonetheless, it’s a little too reminiscent of the thoughtless, mediocre parks I grew up skating in suburban Connecticut 10 years ago to motivate me to take the A train all the way to the end of the universe just to check it out. This new shit right here though? Hubba-da hubba-da. Okay, seriously… whoever’s been sneaking the corny Rohypnol into my drinks better stop right the fuck now.

rockaway beach park construction2 We just pull up our pants and do The Rockaway

The new park definitely looks like a more-than-worthy addition to New York City’s now impressive collection of concrete wonderlands. Um, yeah, so McCarren probably doesn’t count, but it’s not like I don’t end up there 2 to 3 days a week anyway. Regardless, this park looks to have a great balance of transition and street obstacles like Astoria, while keeping the size down to manageable levels that don’t put a real fear of death in you unlike the future-Grant-Taylor training ground over at the Chelsea Piers.

The rumor mill claims the park will be opening in September, which sounds good to me, considering all the little fuckers will be back in school so all of us old losers who don’t have real jobs can finally have a little peace while we embarrass ourselves.