Posts Tagged "cops"


Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect, Rampant Corruption

At last, here’s some good news for everybody out there hoping for increased transparency in our government! Last week, NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg admitted that the NYPD is essentially bought and paid for, something that doesn’t exactly come as a surprise, even if his brazen admission is a bit of a shock.

Oh, bribery — it’s how things get done!

bloomberg looking mean Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect, Rampant Corruption

“I have my own army in the NYPD, which is the seventh biggest army in the world,” Bloomberg said last Tuesday during a speech at MIT. Ah yes, comforting words from any political leader, to be sure.

Who exactly are the cops supposed to be protecting and serving again, anyway?

As if a massive force comprised primarily of uneducated former jocks and current brutes just waiting for civilian skulls to crack isn’t scary enough, back in July, NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly told CBS News that the police could take down an airplane “in a very extreme situation” — which, I assume, means “whenever the fuck they feel like.”

Scarier, really, is the realization that if the NYPD is capable of taking down a fucking airplane, they could certainly take your ass down… down into some dark, cold, horrible place where nobody would ever hear from you again, that is.

nypd tank Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect, Rampant Corruption

[photo by Lorcan Otway]

That photo was taken in 1996, when the NYPD called in a small tank to help clear out the squats on 13th Street. So yeah, if a tank was necessary to arrest 25 homeless protestors, what the hell kind of toys do you think they’ve got at the ready a decade after 9/11? icon eek Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect, Rampant Corruption


We still have the same initials

This isn’t the first “Keep It On The D/L” post the regular visitors of Dedleg have borne witness to, but given Californian stoners’ inability to get off the couch and vote on an incredibly important and personally-relevant initiative earlier this week (not pointing any fingers), it seemed like the right time to do a remake. And next time? A sequel in 3D.

keep it on the dl We still have the same initials

Hope has a nice way of cropping up every few years, only to be crushed under the shit-covered heel of greed and complacency, time and time again. Will marijuana ever be legalized? Probably — maybe not for another decade or more, but eventually the greed of starving state governmental organizations will win over the greed of the cigarette and alcohol industries that couldn’t imagine taking a hit (heh), financially speaking of course, and the greed of the black-market growers that sought to keep the profits from America’s best potential cash crop all to themselves.

bag of weed We still have the same initials

cop roadblock We still have the same initials

Speaking of hope… hopefully I’ll be able to walk down to the corner store and pick up an ounce of something bomb along with a bag of Doritos, a sticky bun, and a large Mountain Dew all at the same place before I’m so old that I actually need a medical marijuana card. But until then, well, we’re just going to have to keep that shit on the D/L.



In light of yet another summer weekend flushed down the toilet, I thought some photos as dark as Friday and Saturday’s black out attempts would fit the bill.

fuck painted on wall candle through hoegaarden glass Darknesses

Thought this little piece of wall art might help increase our apartment’s resale value.

In other news, the arachnid invasion of Chicago has really gained momentum in the past month. At first I kind of liked having the little guys around, but the thing is… now they’re not so little anymore…

two big spiders window Darknesses

diarrhea sucks bukkake pool sign up Darknesses

Maturity flows like beer at most bars. Bodily fluids do too, apparently.

pulled over by cops Darknesses

Speaking of “oh shit!” moments… act cool — it’s the fuzz.


These are their stories

Have you guys seen the trailer for the new Law and Order: Third World Victim’s Unit? It takes place in South Africa, and man, this shit looks so intense.

Every time you think the cops in America are rude or use excessive force, remember this clip, and the poor, victimized criminal being forced out of his own stolen vehicle. Now that’s injustice! Over here, they’re scared to even go near your car. I got in a crash once and the cops spent more time interrogating me about the neon, egg-shaped squirt guns in the back of my car than about the accident. Their exact words, “What’s with the guns, sir?” When I offered to open the door and show them the “guns” in question, they became visibly concerned, asking me to step away from the car… a request I complied with by being briskly pulled away by one of the officers. It would have been comical if there hadn’t been so much poop in my pants.


Flashing Lights

At exactly 11:35 PM on March 21st, some shit went down.

mcdonalds cops1 Flashing Lights

I happened to look out my window and noticed a man had been caught consuming a criminal amount of chicken nuggets. I knew things were going to get hot… the people need their nuggets and this joker decides to be selfish and endanger the entire Foster Street McDonald’s supply. Surely a mistake he’d never have the chance to make again.

mcdonalds cops2 Flashing Lights

The area cops are pretty familiar with this particular McDonald’s location — man cannot live on donuts alone, after all, but on every form of junk food that is regurgitated from the mouth of God. Aside from stretching out their utility belts in the dining room, the police get called to deal with varying degrees of suspicious activity here on a fairly regular basis. On the plus side, there’s always a warm Big Mac waiting once the job’s done.

mcdonalds cops3 Flashing Lights

Which is I guess why the entire precinct showed up over the course of an hour to search this guy’s car. They found nothing and eventually let him go when the smell of potatoes boiling in beef tallow became too overwhelming to bear.

A lot of crazy shit goes on in that parking lot — the french fry fumes drive people into some kind of crazed McMania. Two weeks ago I watched a fight break out between a dozen people split amongst two cars in the drive through. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make out many specifics in the cacophony of drunken vulgarities. One man repeatedly shouted, “Suck my dick,” to a female adversary, who continually countered with “You’re such an asshole!” Finally somebody from a nearby apartment building screamed out their window, “Shut the fuck up!” This accomplished nothing, but it was hilarious.

The fighting continued until a girl on one of the teams pulled the trigger and called the authorities. One car sped off, and the other? Naturally, they brazenly tried to place an order in the drive through as if they hadn’t been screaming, shirtless, for 20 minutes straight just seconds prior. All that fighting doubtlessly worked up an appetite, unfortunately they were denied their right to be lovin’ it, and drove away moments before the police arrived.

The only thing left to be said?

Beanie Sigel & DirtMcGirt - When You Hear That (Ratatat Remix)

It seemed like a wasted opportunity to post these photos without this song as accompaniment. I mean, come on, it’s Dirt McGirt, mother fuckers. Dirt McGirt. Dude racked up some experience at putting his hands on the hood.


Protect and Serve

cops got guns Protect and Serve

Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families than in the general population. In two separate studies, 40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their domestic partners within the last year. In the general population, it’s estimated that domestic violence occurs in about 10% of families.

Hm. Interesting, that’s all. Not sayin’ nothin.


We have the same initials

keep it on the dl We have the same initials

It’s a shame that it’s completely socially acceptable to tell a Jehovah’s Witness to fuck the hell off when they come to your doorstep trying to push their agenda, but you can’t do the same when cops roll up trying to do the same. I don’t believe in their ideology either, but isn’t it just convenient that we happen to call their religion “the law”. Psh.

And speaking of keeping it on the D/L… here’s a pretty good example of not doing that.

weed sketchbook We have the same initials

Some crazy liberal must have snuck some marijuana into my sketchbook when I wasn’t looking! Of course, I turned it into the authorities at once. God and country and shit — I’m out!


Your tax dollars at work

What an absolute fucking waste of time. Um, aren’t we involved in a couple of wars right now… and uh, speaking of which, wasn’t October the deadliest month on record for American soldiers in the Middle East? Does the Army really have so much free time on its hands that it has to take up graffiti cleanup to keep busy? And one more thing, is the beret really necessary… like at all? Or did you just get lost finding your way out of the G.I. Joe sequel film lot?

Granted, the MTA tag along the LA River is pretty much a three-story high, mile-and-a-half long slap in the LAPD’s face, but really, if you can’t slap a cop in the face along the concrete banks of partially man-made river full of needles and bodies, where can you?

But it sure is too bad that there aren’t real criminals to catch out there.