Posts Tagged "Christmas"
Alternate title: The Cheesy Gordita Crunch stands alone.
Always knew there was something about this kid I liked.
I mean, with friends like Harry and Marv, who wouldn’t want to be alone during the holidays? Amiright? Also, with friends like Taco Bell, who needs real friends anyway?
Now, I don’t know how you guys like to put the Christ in Christmas, but ’round here, all it takes is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a bunch of homeless kids playing in trash, and those few, precious, sacred words: “Lick my nuts, lick my nuts, suck my butt, suck my butt.” And if you still don’t get what all this has to do with the birth of Jeezy F. Baby some 2,000 years ago, then you obviously aren’t familiar with a little something I call “a religious experience.”
Go ahead, try to tell me A Charlie Brown Christmas is better than this. Lying like that will put your ass straight on The Naughty List for next year, buster.
Sorry about the lack of updates this week, Ded fans. It’s been hectic — doin’ a lot of last minute Christmas shopping, as you can see. One of those “steal one, get one free” types of sales.
Let’s face it, Christmas is upon us. I don’t want to waste too much time commenting on the obvious, or even honoring holidays in general, since historically, tradition has been used as an excuse for all manner of fucked up bullshit. Nonetheless, after you get past the rampant materialism and impassioned religious silliness, Christmas really is just about good feelings, family, friends… and, of course, mulled wine. And that’s the kind of shit I can get behind.
Basically, Christmas at the Dedleg household is kind of like that Kanye song that goes “Champagne wishes, 30 white bitches, I mean this shit is fucking ridiculous.” And indeed, it is… it is.
Deluxe has been running its DLXMAS web feature for the entire month of December, posting a new tidbit of skateboarding detritus every day through Christmas. While unveiling the entire Real video, online, for free on Christmas morning would be an incredible payoff for the wait, somehow I think that a new trailer is probably the most we can hope to get in our stockings this year.
Nonetheless, a few days ago they posted a video of the Real team’s recent visit to Oakland’s DIY spot under the bridge, which we’ve previously covered in some detail. That little concrete mecca is looking better all the time, but that might also just be due to the fact that everything sunny and fun looks better when it’s 25 degrees in New York.
Speaking of 25 degrees… in my experience, Deluxe boards tend to take a little more abuse than some other reputable skate brands I’ve experimented with over the years. Whether or not this is true or simply personal preference codified will probably remain a mystery until the end of my skateable days, but what I can say with some certainty is that once temperatures get below freezing, a deck from Deluxe Distribution gets brittle and cracks just as easily as any other. If they could devise some new skateboarding technology that could withstand the bitter extremes of the East Coast and Midwest winters, now that would be almost as good as the Real video is going to be1.
1Hopefully I didn’t curse the whole production right there, but I feel like even the most negative vibes emanating from this corner of the Internet are completely deflected by several minutes of new Dennis Busenitz footage. If you have your doubts about that, maybe watch that web clip again.
Not much to say about this round of photos — I was working with a vague Christmas theme, which basically just means I had that one shot of the lights and decorations on Bedford Ave, and then threw a bunch of random shit up along with it. Hey, I tried to get as much green and red in there as possible, at least. Besides, who really gives a shit — I don’t think anybody actually comes to this website hoping to find some seasonal cheer. I leave that up to the greeting card companies, overplayed Christmas songs, and bargain bin feeding frenzies. So if you want a solid serving of yuletide joy, go get choked up to Love, Actually or something, you big baby.
What’s that? I’m getting coal in my stocking this year, you say? Well, good. I love coal. I like the way it tastes. It’s nature’s chocolate. I mean, aside from… chocolate… which happens to be the real nature’s chocolate.
Well, it’s Black Friday, one of our culture’s many absurd tributes to grotesque heights of consumerism. Fitting that it comes on the heels of a holiday designed to celebrate eating as much as physically possible in an effort to prove how thankful you are for your ability to eat as much as physically possible, unlike all those ugly poor people all over the world who have probably never even seen a roast turkey, let alone entertained the idea of waiting in line at Walmart at 4am in order to procure another flatscreen TV.
Thankfully, not everyone is so enslaved by material things. This man had the idea (and the ludicrous amount of free time) to honor something more timeless, more important, more… brutal: Slayer.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and bet that’s the house on the block none of the church kids go caroling at. In the video’s description, the author says he’s been a Slayer fan for 20 years and that creating this abomination of light and color took him a long time. While I’m creating this man’s entire life story in my imagination, I’m just going to go ahead and assume that means 20 years, and that this spectacle is the culmination of a two-decade-long reign of blood.
For real though, I hope he got those lights on sale, ‘cuz they were fucking giving them shits away at CVS today with any purchase over 100 dollars. Now that’s a good deal.