dedleg.com

I’m still here, fam, just been distracted by pizza and pizza-like products, as usual.

You know how it is.

I’m going out of town for the weekend, ya’ll. The Hulkster goes to Heaven.

Boy, I had a weekend. I’ll tell you that much.

More later. Right now I’ve got to get an IV of Gatorade going.

Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!

I know how you feel, buddy. I’ve gone out in Manhattan, too.

Wish I could regale you with tales of wild debauched nights spent cavorting throughout New York’s fine assortment of dumpy dives, seedy shitholes and hard-knocking haunts, but the reality of my Labor Day is far more, well, haunting. I also wish I could tell you spending 13 hours in the ER is a “good experience.” Needless to say, the events that lead up to said hospital stay weren’t much of a “good experience” either, and let’s just leave it at that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go drain my colostomy bag.

Hope ya’ll had more fun than me this Labor Day weekend. Summer might not officially be over until September 21^st, but I think defining season by the solstices and equinoxes is some Druid shit. Personally, I listen to my knee - it was right about the storm in 89, and it’s never failed me since, by gum! And right now, my knee is singing Summer’s Swan Song. So crack those diet brews, and slurp down some America while you can.

I’m back from Lake George. It was pretty fun, I guess.

More later, after I’m through with standard post vacation recovery measures (read: do absolutely nothing for at least one full day).

Speaking of tattoos…

That spermy lookin’ snake on his ribs is pretty chill, too.

If my life is going in circles, please god, let it be this one.

Fact: it is immensely hard to regularly update one’s website when it’s not painful and depressing to be outside.

Something about this scares me, and not even just because I have a deep-seated hatred of glitter.

Seriously though, fuck glitter too. Watch out for that shit when you’re getting your drink on in the club tonight, fellas. People may have warned you about things like “crabs” and “chlamydia” before, but listen to me here, once you get glitter, good goddamn luck getting rid of it. You may think it’s gone, but then, months later, you’ll see it again! I’m telling you, that shit might as well be an STI.

Any babies reading the blog today, take note of the above mantra, please.

This is pretty much a straightforward case of self-defense right here, guys. The toddler was clearly the aggressor, and kitty had no choice but to ward off the unwarranted menace by any means possible.

Kid got off lucky anyway. If a child of mine did that, I’d let the cat suck the blood right out of the little fucker’s neck.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I’ve finally met my match.

Blowing smoke rings are probably the coolest thing you can do with smoke… I mean, besides inhaling it, lol amiright?

Dude’s clearly a boss. A boss of all bosses, even.