Posts Tagged "Aliens"

07.28.2011

The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

Easy Ways To Tell You Smoke Too Much Marijuana #9: You find yourself googling “did hobbits really smoke weed?” out of genuine curiosity.

In high school, my friends and I used to skate a bank in the back of a grocery store, often after participating in less legal teenage fun. To get to the bank, we’d have to walk through a sort of alley-way, where it was clear other young miscreants liked to spend their off-hours. Almost as a welcoming committee, the side of the store sported all kinds of flaking graffiti, my favorite of which was an aging mural of a crudely-drawn, stereotypical alien smoking a huge joint. It was retarded, and I loved it. However, it was not the first drawing of an alien smoking weed, and it will not be the last — it is part of a rich tradition of depicting aliens enjoying marijuana, and so too is my latest drawing.

martian mean green sour diesel trainwreck The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

This drawing was inspired by a few particular strains of weed… particularly potent, as I’ve been told: Martian Mean Green, Trainwreck, and Sour Diesel. Get it? Before anyone asks, yes, I am aware this is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever drawn for this website… and that’s really saying something around here.

Anyway, no tribute to this whimsical and thought-provoking genre of art would be complete without a collection of compelling examples.

alien smoking weed The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

Maybe I’ve been watching too much Ancient Aliens lately, but this is probably true… just btw.

robot weed The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

Sentient, non-organic aliens are still aliens.

take me to your dealer The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

I truly believe this is the best the Internet can offer as far as images of aliens smoking joints go. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.

yoda smoking a joint The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

Hey, he’s an alien too.

schwarzenegger smoking joint The Sticky, the Icky and the Sticky Icky Icky

Okay, so he’s not an alien. In fact, he’s never even played an alien. But he’s no mere man, either. I still got mad love for you, Arnie.

07.01.2011

Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

Another random bunch of photos to round out a rather random week. Bear with me, it’s going to be a bit of a whirlwind since I’m in a rush. Only this time, it’s not because I have too much other work to do. Rather, it’s because I’ll be blowing off said work to watch a bunch of grown men ride around on skateboards this afternoon. I know it sounds weird, but it’s a hobby.

sunset between buildings scary gated window Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

The photo on the right is, objectively, really fucking bad, but I kind of like it anyway. I took it late one night (could you tell?), wading through a thick psychedelic haze on my way to the bathroom. If you think that shit looks creepy now, well just think about how creepy it looked when my mental faculties were extremely compromised by drugs and alcohol and I had barely any control over my bladder function. Basically, I’m not going to say I peed in my pants, at least, not until somebody else admits that they too might pee in their pants under such circumstances.

I thought the aliens were finally coming to answer my calls. I mean, it worked for E.T. — what the fuck, you guys?

et jurassic park Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

Look, when I said random, I meant random. Rando, even. Plus, I figure I’ll never have a better opportunity to use that image, and come on, I think we can all admit that it’s goddamn incredible. Do I really even need a better reason than that?

sunset on metropolitan avenue Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

Speaking of incredible — Mother Earth! Sunsets never get old, but talking about them sure does! Let’s move on.

antique cars behind gate Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

rose on desk Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

Those last two shots may seem particularly homeless, but if you look at them within the larger context of the post as a whole, and envision them next to the other photos without all of my self-indulgent rambling squeezed in between, you might notice how all their colors work off each other. Or you might just be like, “Eh, those photos were kind of whatever.” That’s just art, man.

Unfortunately, the website design updates I promised to have this week are going to break my promise, also due to my choice of afternoon activities. Look, blame HTML and CSS for being a pain in the ass, otherwise it’d be done already. Not my fault that shit takes, like, time and skill and shit. Plus, I’m still revising my official logo, which apparently wasn’t actually official since it still needs work. In sum, I’m a terrible business owner. Probably a terrible father too, since, as far as I know, I do not have a child.

dqm girl lakai demo Tell me lies, tell me beautiful lies

Anyway, swing by the demo if you’re in the area today. After all, it’s the Girl and Lakai teams’ historic first demo in New York City, although it is far from their first tour of the local bars. Anyway, it should be interesting since the set up at 12&A is pretty similar to many rural parking lot “skate parks”. If you’re hoping to catch a rare Dedleg sighting, I’ll be the one proposing to Mike Carroll when it’s all over.

06.03.2011

Too much madness to explain in one text

From the same genius mind that brought you this preview of upcoming Norwegian horror mockumentary about a troll hunter called The Troll Hunter, comes this tantalizing preview of Attack the Block, a sci-fi/action/comedy genre bender from the producers of Shaun of the Dead and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. The film came out in the UK just under a month ago to jolly good reviews and it looks like just my cup o’ tea, mates.

Between this and Cowboys vs. Aliens it seems extraterrestrials are 2011’s new choice variety of creepy creature to invade an unconventional time and/or place, a la the great cinematic zombie infestation of the past 5 years. This trend would be fine with me, since the undead have been mercilessly beaten to death, and aliens are an even scarier concept considering their impending invasion is that much more likely. Which brings me to my only real problem with the trend — the thought that it might signal the beginnings of a wide-scale attempt by the secretive Powers That Be™ to desensitize society to the idea of being shredded to bits by space-faring talons.

I wish the trailer revealed a little more of the aliens, but as with any monster flick, it’s better to see too little than too much. Aliens got it right, Alien: Resurrection… not so much.

alien resurrection kiss Too much madness to explain in one text

Nonetheless, this clip from the film gives us a better taste of what our weird-talking street-dwellers are up against. Generally speaking, looks like some terrible fucking shit. Don’t get me wrong, the effects are on-point, it’s just that dealing with that monstrosity would be some terrible fucking shit, I mean.

Tonally, Attack the Block seems to be all over the, uh, block, as it were. While Scott Pilgrim may have focused more on laughs and visuals than genuine emotion, Shaun of the Dead was actually a surprisingly affecting film, boasting plenty of heart balanced perfectly with humor and authentic zombie armageddon. I have similar hopes for Attack the Block. Director Joe Cornish describes the movie as, “a fun, escapist, fantasy adventure,” which, I think, is also how Lord of the Rings was promoted so, yeah, you could say I’m excited.

attack the block Too much madness to explain in one text

Of course, no US release date has been announced, but given pop culture’s obsession with sci-fi action, and the cult success of prior Nick Frost vehicles like Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, it can’t be too long before this invasion hits our shores. Green, extra-long, padded fingers crossed.

02.26.2011

It's our planet... it's their war

Are you guys as pumped as I am about the upcoming season of Big Brother: Alien vs. Predator?

avp shower Its our planet... its their war

A fight that has spanned generations and hundreds of worlds… has finally… come… to… prime time.

12.02.2010

I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid

The hype monster for TRON’s impending release is likely more breathtaking than anything in the movie will be. Nonetheless, it’s hard not to get excited about glowing lights and bright colors. Ain’t It Cool News is currently holding their Butt-Numb-A-Thon contest, asking entrants to “TRONitize” scenes from their favorite movies. Naturally it was going to spawn some cool shit.

Did I say cool shit? I meant fucking awesome shit. So yeah, like I said, it’s hard not to get excited about glowing lights and bright colors, and a solid helping of aliens on the side never hurt either.

Thanks for the link, Brandon.

10.15.2010

Battle of the Sequels

The hallowed halls of dedleg have seen the epic match-up of Aliens vs. Terminator 2 before, with a question that has tortured humanity’s finest scientists for two decades — who would win in a fight, Ellen Ripley or Sarah Connor? Personally, I’ve come to the fairly comfortable conclusion that without a flame thrower in the equation, Sarah Connor would probably roundhouse Ripley’s head clean off her shoulders. Years from now, new science may emerge that will prove me wrong. And I look forward to that challenge, because my love of both films is just that great. Truly, there can be no real victory here… just two different ways to lose.

But, as I am not one to be content with just a handful of nagging, unanswerable questions like “what is the meaning of life?” and “who would win in a fight, Ellen Ripley or Sarah Connor?” I put it to you brave few, the disciples of dedleg — if you had to choose one film to exist in your consciousness for the rest of your life, forever banishing any memory of, awareness of, or ability to watch the other while stoned on a Saturday night, which would it be?

alien from aliens Battle of the Sequels

arnold schwarzenegger as the terminator Battle of the Sequels

I bring it up because it occurred to me that both films are landmarks within the sci-fi genre, and both are superior to their predecessors. This realization came to me one night when I was trying to compile a list of my top 5 favorite films. The criteria was that these were supposed to be movies I could watch often and not get sick of, if I had to live on but these 5 films for the rest of my movie-watching days. Strategically, I tried to make my list as diverse as I could, so when it came down to the sci-fi action/thriller category, obviously picking both Aliens and Terminator 2 would have been redundant with so much ground to cover.

After a fair amount of tortured consideration, I settled on T2, as it’s a simpler, easier, and altogether, uh… funner film. Look at it this way, the whole thing is essentially one giant chase sequence and the main character is a skeleton made out of metal. Face-raping space insects just didn’t seem as appealing by contrast.

And for those who may have been wondering, here are the other films that rounded out my top 5 list. It might not be the most objective collection of the best cinema has to offer, but it’s a list I’m confident will keep me company on a deserted island with nothing on it but a flatscreen television and miles of native marijuana fields.

  • Terminator 2
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Wet Hot American Summer
  • Ghostbusters
  • Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

I encourage you all to compile lists of your own, but remember — CHOOSE WISELY.

09.23.2010

Stories from beyond the Moon

Lukewarm, leftover photographs might not be quite as appetizing as cold, congealed pizza, but it’s the order of the day. I’ve been pushing these scraps around for at least a month, waiting for them to reveal their usefulness. However, I’m doing a bit of late summer cleaning this week (more on that tomorrow), so it was time for the photos to go, and I’ve decided to lump them all together into a steaming hot pile of randomness. Dig in, guys!

glasses Stories from beyond the Moon

I took this shot when I was stoned out of my gourd one night, and it seemed way more interesting to me at the time. Speaking of which, here’s the cause…

bits of weed on table Stories from beyond the Moon

Later on, I was enjoying some of the previously documented loopy lettuce, and a very strange buzzing sound started emanating from my kitchen. When I went to investigate, I discovered this little creature perched on the windowsill. Pretty sure it was a spy from another world — and to his homeland he did return, frightened off by the camera flash like an alien starlet caught in the paparazzi’s bursting lights. Good riddance, martian.

bug on windowsill Stories from beyond the Moon

Just kidding, please come back and take me with you. I can bribe you with orange soda, if that’s any kind of incentive. It’s “big daddy size” — not sure if that can tackle an alien’s thirst or not.

shower curtain stuck to radiator orange soda Stories from beyond the Moon

Also, to explain the photo on the left — ghosts apparently stuck my shower curtain to the radiator one night. A lot of pretty supernatural shit goes down here, believe it or not.

power strip on wood floor Stories from beyond the Moon

Okay, powering down.

08.10.2010

The Hunter

Believing that aliens will swoop down in flying saucers and save humanity with their benevolence, intelligence, and vastly advanced technology is a common false hope in the 21st Century. It’s almost as bad as that one about the old guy who lives on a cloud and is worshiped by billions of people, worldwide.

scanning the stars The Hunter

If it wasn’t 1:30 in the morning, I could devote some space here to discussing cool conspiracy theories about ancient astronauts, whose intervention may have changed the face of human civilization. But it is 1:30 in the morning, and I’m just going to have to let this more-entertaining-than-informative Discovery Channel documentary do the job instead.

Learning hasn’t been this funny since the last time somebody farted in class.

06.04.2010

Get away from her, you bitch!

Today, I have a very serious question for all of you to comb your noodles over.

WHO WOULD WIN?

ellen ripley aliens Get away from her, you bitch!

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Aliens

sarah connor terminator2 Get away from her, you bitch!

Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor in Terminator 2

Dedleg’s Friday Night Title Fight: Ellen Ripley vs. Sarah Connor

Considering each of their track records, putting an ordinary human being down should be a pretty easy undertaking. However, Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor are no ordinary human beings. They are warrior women, okay? And this is a fight to the death of gladiatorial proportions. Only one thing is for certain — according to the best sci-fi films of our time, the future runs red… with blood, in case that wasn’t clear.