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Apparently I had some anxiety over starting the week as I spent much of last night tormented by psychotic dreams. However, that evening, I also had watched the trailer for Event Horizon, one of the most deeply disturbing films I can recall seeing as a young, impressionable adolescent. So it might have been that. Or it may have been the entirety of the $6.99 Trader Joe’s hummus quartet, ostensibly my dinner, which I consumed between the hours of 12:00 and 1:00 am, which is likely the truest horror of them all.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t all bad. At some point my subconscious thoughts turned to something I often dream of in the daylight hours, skateboarding, and I was whisked away to a completely imagined, but beyond perfect, spot — a giant castle/museum/plaza covered in white marble. Perhaps it was a vision of heaven, remembered by my subconscious before I was born, I don’t know, it’s entirely plausible. And the best part is, as I opened my eyes to the dream, charging downhill atop my board, I looked to my left and there was TNT, Tony Trujillo himself, a man once described by Jason Dill as “when [he] skates he looks like a beautiful Indian on fire.” And indeed, he is. We skated together all night, and when I woke up this morning, he was gone. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.

[Images via Chrome Ball Incident]

But anyway, here are some photos (of my own). Not related to skateboarding, or dreams, or Leonardo DiCaprio in a dream, or Indians on fire, or anything. Just a few ran-dumbs from a similarly gray day, perhaps one spent dreaming of skateboarding even…

Man, light is just too cool. These types of photos might be totally self-indulgent, but it’s my blog and I’ll act like a cat chasing a laser pointer if I want to.

I took 7 nearly identical shots of this tree, and not a single one of them is sharp. I guess that’s what you get for trying to take a picture out of a filthy, rain-spattered window. Nonetheless, I wanted to get a shot anyway since there are always a downright Hitchcockian level of birds in this tree outside my window. I don’t know why, I guess it’s more comfortable than the other trees in the area? The drinks are cheaper? I walk around naked too much and it’s funny to them? Who knows.

Stay dry this weekend, kiddies. Saturday’s supposed to bring a wintry mix of nasty proportions… granted, not nearly as nasty as a work week. Plus, who doesn’t like an excuse to smoke herb and stare out the window? Not like I ever needed one before, but I’m just sayin’ is all.

Man oh man, is it an exciting time to be on the Internet or what? And not just because I’m stoned right now. And not just because this may be the very last of the exciting times on the Internet if all this pro-censorship legislation actually passes. Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve been this excited about the Internet since I first discovered pornography.

Today was a tumultuous one in The War on a Free Internet, currently being waged by various Congressional henchmen and the entertainment industry bosses lining their pockets. This morning, popular file-sharing/pirated-music-haven, Megaupload, was shut down. The US government seized its domain names, snatched $50 million in assets (including 18 very expensive cars, 60 Dell servers, and a “Predator” statue), had four of its executives arrested, and charged the company with violating piracy laws, claiming it basically stole $500 million in profits from copyright holders. It might not sound that crazy on the surface, but this was some serious search & destroy shit…

The arrest was carried out by the Organised & Financial Crime Agency New Zealand and police following a “mutual legal assistance request from the US to arrest individuals for the purpose of extradition”.

Three properties were searched, and four arrested – three at [CEO] Dotcom’s place in Coatesville, and one in Orakei.

A total of 76 police and armed offenders squad officers were involved, as well as four FBI agents who assisted with the inquiry, but not the raid itself. [source]

Basically, they weren’t going home empty-handed. Seems like the forces of greed are flexing nuts after Craigslist went dark on Wednesday and some Hollywood exec got pissed when he couldn’t fill his usual m4m casual encounters fix. Nonetheless, it begs the question, why exactly do they need SOPA/PIPA if they can already shut down whoever they please? Oh, right, because SOPA and PIPA would allow them to go after sites that aren’t breaking the law, and without due process of law.

If you’ve ever stolen- uh, I mean- shared anything on the Internet, chances are good you’ve run into my friend Megaupload. With 50 million daily visitors, the site accounted for an incredible 4% of total Internet traffic! I prefer Mediafire anyway, but that’s just me.

Nonetheless, just because I wasn’t too upset about it, doesn’t mean a whole lot of angry hackers weren’t either. In retaliation of this obvious retaliation of the anti-censorship blackouts on Wednesday, “hacktivist” group, Anonymous, took down a whole shit ton of shits- I mean- sites. They probably weren’t ones you visit very often, so maybe it’s not that big of a deal, but the list includes websites like whitehouse.gov, usdoj.gov, riaa.org, mpaa.org, fbi.gov, and copyright.gov, just in case you’ve heard of them.

Already there have been casualties on both sides. And these were just the warning shots.

Rest in peace, Megaupload. Say “hi,” to your great grandfather, Napster, for me, when you see him in Illegal File-Sharing Heaven.

After yesterday’s anti-SOPA/PIPA/rich evildoers blackout, the Internet must be feeling pretty hungover. This handful of photos taken during some of my recent nightcrawling should help nourish you back to health. Also, don’t forget to drink lots of Gatorade… and take a poop!

Like an old syringe found behind a dumpster, this photo would be better if it was a little bit sharper.

It’s Winter in New York City, so these steam pipes are all over the place for… uh, for some reason or other. I actually have no clue what they do… aside from the obvious, of course. The steam’s smell certainly leaves something to be desired, though. Does a city fart?

Farted out by one of New York City’s many assholes (not to be confused with its many armpits). I like it. Maybe that’s how I was born.

There aren’t many better ways to cap a night out than by putting down a few pints at Peculiar Pub in the West Village, particularly if you like sampling from a staggering list of weird beers, and more importantly, if you happen to cap your nights at 9:30pm, before all the NYU kids and the rest of the Bleeker St. frat house show up. Many a sad bank statement has been printed at that ATM, let me tell you.

Just like Jimmy Wales, that creepy programmer guy, and the whole rest of the crew at Wikipedia, in protest of the fiendish SOPA and PIPA bills, I’m blacking out today.

I just hope I don’t post something stupid on Facebook once I do.

In any case… since Dedleg isn’t entirely incoherent yet, if you’re not sure what to think about SOPA and how generous you feel towards bloodsucking corporate ghouls, just have a look at this statement the MPAA Chairman and former Senator, Chris Dodd, released in response to the blackout protests:

It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.

Now, an organization keen on suing grandfathers for pirating shitty movies on the Internet, and even some people who haven’t done anything vaguely illegal, like the MPAA, condemning another company for furthering corporate interests would be hilarious… if they weren’t in a position to change the law.

Also, what corporate interests is he even talking about? Is anybody at Wikipedia getting rich for their ability to write articles about Tolkein’s breeds of trolls, and if so, how can I get a job there? Pretty sure Wikipedia wouldn’t be begging for money all the goddamned time if they actually made any.

Worse still is the fact that Dodd is scolding Wikipedia, reddit, et al. for inconveniencing the “people who rely on them for information,” considering SOPA is, in so many ways, a censorship bill. I seriously hate these idiots we’ve hired to control our lives, everybody. Don’t vote for the assholes in Washington, vote for the net.

If you don’t make the most (or better yet, the least) of the time you have off, there’s really no point in having time off at all. However, in updating this blog, I’ve already destroyed any chance of me choosing the path of least resistance, but it’s good to have goals, anyway.

If there’s one thing I like more than a good view, it’s a good view obscured by spattered filth. Also, taking pictures out of train windows while said train is in motion proves infinitely troublesome.

These are a (very) few shots I took some months ago while visiting the bustling village of Sleepy Hollow. If you like Halloween or went to grade school in America, chances are good you’ve heard of this place, thanks to The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Curious enough, the “legend,” as it were, is really not so much a legend at all — it’s merely one of the earliest examples of American fiction written by Washington Irving — and a reasonably entertaining film inspired by the legend, starring Edward Scissorhands — based on the actual legend of the Headless Horseman, which is a motif of European folklore that dates back to the Middle Ages.

In any case, while I was in town, I made sure to visit the Official Sleepy Hollow Cemetery™, where Washington Irving once slinked amongst the graves, finding the names for his characters upon the many headstones.

While there, I stumbled upon a literal bridge over troubled water. Hearing the faint drumming of hoofs bearing down hard on the damp earth in the distance, I decided to cut my visit short.

And then my camera ran out of battery at the worst time possible. Always travel with a spare, a good memory only goes so far.

Also, don’t bother to check your calendar, you’re not crazy. I’m just a weirdo. It is, in fact, Tuesday, January 17^th. Really, a fairly humdrum day in the middle of the winter, far from the ghoulish festivities of October 30^th. Nonetheless, ghoulish festivities are never far from my heart, which I happen to keep in a jar on my desk.

Really digging this old clip from Rob Harris, for, uh, obvious reasons.

Skateboarding and herb, two of the finest things in life.

This is only semi-horrifying. Okay, maybe half-horrifying… half, like, weirdly fetishistic.

It bears something of a disturbing resemblance to, uh, well, to this…

First principles, Clarice. Smoothness. Use Marcus Aurelius, a quality after shave by Faconnable Homme. Of each particular shave ask: what is smooth in itself? What is smoothness’ nature?

Closer, please. Clo-ser…

Well, this seems like a little much…

What’s that you say? Exclusive photos of Extremely Young Hove have leaked on the Internet?

Um, holy shit. Okay, never mind, maybe the Jesus freaks are right about something, after all.

You know the drill. Photos shmotos.

Every time I see the Freedom Tower I can’t help but this of this:

The Team America Soundtrack — America, Fuck Yeah!

I mean, you have to figure that was their intention, right?

In other movie news, Netflix knows me so well. What’s this? Another Mega Shark movie? The gods must be crazy!

And if the title somehow didn’t have you at hello — oh yeah — it’s also got Urkel in it.

My mind’s telling me no… but my body…

By the time DC officially announced that Mike Mo was on the team earlier this month, the division of the Internet’s rumor mill devoted strictly to skateboarding gossip had churned up enough dregs from various semi-trustworthy sources that nobody was really surprised, or even cared all that much anymore. However, the rumor mill turns and turns, and this latest announcement is sure to be a shake-up.

“Rob Dyrdek announces he just bought Alien Workshop. Yes.”

Photo via Transworld’s Instagram

This started on the SLAP message boards earlier today, where truth is often deeply hidden and obscured by lies, softcore pornography, and nonsensical ranting in some vaguely recognizable form of bastardized English. However, now that Transworld has chimed in via Instagram, it seems like the news must be official, particularly since it’s way too early for April Fool’s jokes. Apparently, the irresistibly-affable, televised goon-extraordinare himself, Rob Dyrdek, has rescued his long-term board sponsor, Alien Workshop, from the evil corporate clutches of Burton Snowboards. This is what industry folks refer to as a “power move,” in case you were unaware.

What does a company with a roster including heavy-hitters like A.V.E., Jason Dill, Heath Kirchart, Omar Salazar, Dylan Rieder and 2011’s SOTY, Grant Taylor, even retail for? And that’s to say nothing of their legacy in the realms of video production and general, cultural influence, which is undoubtedly also a major factor in the company’s market valuation. Do you think Dyrdek got AWS on the cheaps through a post-Christmas overstock sale? Or perhaps there was some kind of “friends with benefits” promotion?

Overall, I think it’s a good move, and I trust the Workshop’s future in the hands of a fellow skater and devoted team-rider far more than in the gnarled claws of some mega-rich “action sports” conglomerate. It’ll be interesting to see if there’s any public outcry about this. Opinions of Rob Dyrdek vary greatly between the two spectrums of “he’s an OG and his part in Photosynthesis was the shit,” and “he sucks and every second his face appears on MTV brings skateboarding a little closer to its bitter end.” Nonetheless, for a culture that spends a great deal of time and energy griping about companies that aren’t skater owned — AWS included — it will be interesting to see what happens when perhaps the premiere “cool guy” company reverts to skater-owned status by action of one of skateboarding’s most notorious clowns.

Ah well, let’s just try to remember the dude kickflipped a car. That’s got to count for something. Now, whether or not that “something” is something good, I can’t even tell you.

And on that note… whether or not Burton’s next move will be to purchase Rob Dyrdek is yet to be seen. More as this develops.