Materialism

08.23.2012

Come comb through the new collection

Happy Supreme Day. Go buy some shit. And if you waited in line for this glorious occasion, well… you probably shouldn’t have. Me? I’ll wait for the craze to die down, but I sure hope they don’t sell out of those combs… need that shit.

supreme comb Come comb through the new collection

Self portrait, btw. No, seriously.

08.20.2012

Stop! Hammer Time!

This’ll go great with my Ryan Gosling in Drive costume I’m planning for Halloween this year…

supreme hammer Stop! Hammer Time!

Definitely a head-scratcher in the accessories department. Who exactly is the “target market” for this one? People who like really, really expensive hammers? That guy from Office Space who really liked the red stapler and maybe has a thing for red office equipment of all kinds and even just tools in general? Or maybe it’s for the modern serial killer with an eye for style? That must be it. A little Patrick Bateman type who grew up idolizing Jason Dill instead of Phil Collins. Man, I bet he mall grabs.

Anyway, either that or it’s a Jim Greco collaboration?

05.28.2012

All Star Status

Jason Jessee wears Chucks now? Weeeiiiird. It feels like the delicate firmament above the skateboarding world just collapsed, a little bit.

I was never a Cons man. They didn’t make sense to me, since I’m a skater, not a basketball player from the 1920s. That’s why I always wore Vans, another producer of quality, slim, low-profile shoes with classic sentimentality oozing out from between the stitches, only their involvement in skateboarding beat Converse’s by two decades. And today, Converse has been owned by Nike since 2003. Sure, people have always skated in Cons, some of our great early style leaders, like Natas Kaupas, were known for it, but the thing is, Vans were made for skateboarding. Granted, both brands are now celebrating widespread mainstream popularity, but historically speaking, Vans were skate shoes, not just basketball sneakers that people chose to skate in. And this is why, I assume, Jason Jessee had a longstanding partnership with Vans, collaborating with them on one of the finest releases in the Vans Syndicate line to date…

jason jessee vans syndicate All Star Status

Apparently, that relationship fell apart sometime between then and Jason turning 40. His announcement of his age is a revelation that almost knocks the wind out of you, considering he’s the closest thing skateboarding has to a Peter Pan. And that’s saying something considering all skateboarders have a little touch of the Pan as it is. So if Jason Jessee can’t stay young, surely we’re all doomed.

jason jessee motorycle cons All Star Status

I get it. It’s hard staying young for 40 years. Moreover, it’s expensive staying young for 40 years. And if somebody wants to pay you to basically just, continue being you in your pursuit to stay young, only while wearing their sneakers… fuck it. You win. But I think that kind of decision making automatically makes you a grown up. You may be a man-child, but you’re still a man now.

jason jessee rowing boat alcatraz All Star Status

In any case, Jason Jessee is still significantly cooler than you or I can ever even dream of one day being. If anything, we should be thanking him for lowering the bar a little bit. And, at the end of the day, there are a ton of incredibly legit dudes skating for Converse — so don’t mind me, I’m just being a purist. If you were an Aerosmith fan, imagine how you felt when Steven Tyler became a judge on American Idol, and then multiply your pain by a thousand because Steven Tyler, on his best day, has less coolness in his entire body than Jason Jesse has in, like, a single pube.

05.28.2012

Back the fuck up

Today, I’d like to introduce you to Beanie Back: The Original Snapback Beanie, a concept so utterly weird it almost defies mockery. It’s a mockery in itself. A mockery of all things I hold dear, and some that I do not, but most of all, I’m sure, it’s a mockery of yourself to wear one of these on your head.

beanie back Back the fuck up

Bet the dudes at the patent office are really scratching their heads at this one. Also, the fact that it’s “the original snapback beanie” suggests to me that there are more of these abominations out there, and that is an idea I simply do not want to tolerate.

It’s about as awesome and horrible as that rudimentary illustration would have you believe…

beanie back image Back the fuck up

My main question is… why would you do this? And judging from the photos… it seems the inventor isn’t sure either. Perhaps there’s a seed of doubt growing in his mind. Perhaps he’s wondering to himself, “have I… created a monster?”

beanie back model shots Back the fuck up

Pretty sure I’ll be seeing that guy’s Beanie-Back-wearing face in my nightmares for the next, eh, forever or so. It looks like the hat is draining his will to live straight out of his brain.

But hey, at least he’s doing his own thing. And who knows, maybe everybody in the future will be wearing them. Fuck me, right?

So anyway, yes, obviously, I just placed an order for one in every color.

04.02.2012

Got my Vans on but they look like sneakers

Personally, there hasn’t been anything from Vans this spring that has really tempted me to spend some money, and not even just because I own far too many sneakers as it is. Nonetheless, these are super sick.

vans vault sk8 hi zip lx Got my Vans on but they look like sneakers

vans vault sk8 hi zip lx black Got my Vans on but they look like sneakers

Not sure if I’m sold on the zipper on the back yet though… kinda weird. But the combination of nubuck and leather looks great, anyway. The leather laces are a nice touch, too. A simple update on a classic — can’t go wrong. Well, except for maybe the whole zipper thing. Although at least then you might not have to untie your shoes to take them off, which would actually be kind of awesome. Almost like Sk8-Hi clogs… cool! I think!

12.03.2011

The Smoking Gun

Killer lighter, huh?

gun keychain lighter The Smoking Gun

What better way to set ablaze your favorite brand of death stick? Or, if you’re into less lethal blends, what better way to fire off the bong? Although, come to think of it, that’s still a pretty deadly habit. If I ever get caught smoking grass, my mom will totally kill me.

In sum, puns are stupid, but this lighter is cool (if you like getting fingered by TSA agents at the airport, anyway.)

08.16.2011

Just because we can, doesn't mean we should

Rick Ross may have popularized the notion of selling drugs with an iPhone, but, like many of the former correctional officer’s life decisions, rapping about performing illegal activities using a device with a built-in GPS and billing account tied to your name probably wasn’t made under the soundest judgment. Drugs and technology combine in all kinds of wonderful ways, and those wonderful ways are very different things depending if your paychecks are mailed from a law enforcement agency or not.

optical mouse digital scale1 Just because we can, doesnt mean we should

Nonetheless, here is another match-up of drugs and technology that doesn’t really make that much sense. This USB optical mouse has a built-in digital scale that can measure an object from 0.1g to 500g, which is obviously an adequate range to weigh skull key-chains with glowing orange eyes, and probably other small items too, like little plastic bags full of drugs, for example. It sure seems like a cute concept, until you realize it’s almost completely pointless, even for those inclined to Facebook under the influence. Hell, if it wasn’t for the mouse cursor, it’d be literally pointless too icon wink Just because we can, doesnt mean we should

optical mouse digital scale2 Just because we can, doesnt mean we should

Maybe I’m just cynical. I could see it being useful if you’re doling out performance-enhancing powders to your guild in Everquest, I guess. Or if you’re like countless other self-employed Americans out there, supporting your home business with some harmless crack sales on the side.

optical mouse digital scale3 Just because we can, doesnt mean we should

Beyond that, I suppose it’s a stealthy way to hide your scale if you still live in your parents’ basement and you don’t want your mom to discover how you afforded all those Doctor Who action figures while she’s dusting Dorito debris off your desk. Otherwise, it just seems like a strange combination of technologies that really don’t have that much to do with each other. It’s not like walking around with a USB mouse in your pocket is all that discreet. Although the last thing anybody will assume you are is a drug dealer, so maybe that was the plan all along. “Sell drugs? No sir, I’m just heading to an all-night LAN tournament with my buddies who are absolutely not coked up… yet.”

Ultimately, I’m going to call this one a miss. Personally, I’m waiting for the second generation when they include either a USB-powered lighter or a razor that pops out like a memory card.

08.04.2011

Wall to wall

Despite a long-running affliction at the hands of sneaker and hat collecting, to date I’ve managed to restrain myself from writing about consumer interests on the blog. Today, my will has broken. Or perhaps apathy just took over. Either way, there’s no denying it. A deep-seated obsession with sneakers is a part of me — a lame part that will keep me forever unfulfilled, perhaps — but a part of me nonetheless, so why not air it out on Dedleg with the rest of my dirty laundry?

alex olson wallride1 Wall to wall

I shot this photo of Alex Olson doing a very apropos wallride on a Vans ad at the DQM demo last month. Shooting skateboarding is hard! Unfortunately, I cut Meza’s feet off… so much for that skate photography career I’ve been pursuing so passionately.

Maybe I’m a weirdo, but I’ve only ever skated in Vans. After having happily destroyed a decade’s worth of sneakers, I can honestly say I’m something of a diehard Vans aficionado. And as I got older, and occasionally felt compelled to not look like a total fucking dirtbag, my sneaker collection expanded well beyond the realm of strictly functional skateboarding footwear. A simple pair of Half Cabs or Sk8-His will always be safe choices for the aging skate rat, but between the OTW, California, Syndicate, and Vault collections, Vans has a fucking treasure trove of classy models in quality materials for anybody looking to get their grown-ass man on.

vans vault sk8 hi lx premio Wall to wall

This fall’s Vans Vault releases are some of the label’s most fearsome offspring to date. Indeed, it was the Sk8-Hi LX “Premio” pack that pretty much forced my hand to publish this post. Maybe I’m still a little afraid to come out of the closet when it comes to my sneaker collection, but for this pair of shoes, I think I could do it. The Sk8-Hi is a classic, dress it up in rich burgundy leather and even the grimiest skater bois will be impressing girls’ parents.

vans vault priz laced lx Wall to wall

The Priz Laced LX is a new style in the Vault collection out this August, and offers a silhouette a bit more refined than what you might find amongst their core line. Between the toe-cap and two-tone design they’ve almost got a European-look to them, only without the track suit and lost expression on the Subway.

Anyway, I think that got dorky enough for one day. And I swear, I’m not just posting this shit because Dedleg’s birthday is coming up or anything… icon wink Wall to wall