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What’s there to say about this one… hot on the heels of the “shit [some demographic] say” Internet wildfire, “Shit Pro Skaters Say” with Chris Roberts pretty much says it all.

Check back next week when I promise I’ll put together some content that isn’t just shit you already saw on Crailtap mixed in with the occasional overwrought, run-on-sentence excuse.

Bridges are wonderful structures — they connect areas that would otherwise be divided by a natural border, and their undersides make a fine place to build an illegal DIY skatepark!

Feelin’ this Crailtap clip of the day with Rick McCrank, and not just because he’s a super guy. Tucked somewhere in Vancouver, Leeside looks like a fun little skate cave if I ever saw one, and I’ve begun to crave spots like this what with my age and complete inability to do anything good on a ledge. The best part about Leeside however, which Rick somehow didn’t consider, is the fact that it’s shielded from the elements by an impenetrable concrete shell.

Anyway, more later. Crazy week over here — I’m quite literally working for the weekend right now, only with less half-naked Chris Farley and much more swearing under my breath.

I found this on Quartersnacks today, and I don’t have a clue where they found it, or if they’ve actually been so blessed as to have seen this floating castle with their own eyes. One imagines it might have similar effect as looking upon the face of god — only blindness and abject fear can come of it. Nonetheless, I was morally compelled to post it as I have spent considerable time in the past decade participating in a widely-regarded juvenile past time which is currently systematically destroying the inner workings of my Skeletomuscular system and will surely never land me a well-paying job, like, anywhere.

Come with me where you’ll never, never have to worry about grown up things again…

Indeed, a full-blown case of skateboard-obsession is a disease, as obviously only a mental condition of the most severe order could result in somebody actually building a half pipe tree house. Don’t get me wrong, I understand this mental illness, because I share it. In fact, I can say with a fair degree of certainty that this is the coolest thing I have ever seen. Cooler than anything I’ve ever posted on this blog and considered cool before. Cooler than the Ninja Turtles when I was five years old. Yes, that cool. The only way this could possibly be cooler, is if it was a fully-featured bowl complex, but I don’t even want to know what kind of complex it would take for somebody to actually try to accomplish such a thing.

There’s a lot of sickness to be contained in a mere 3 minutes, 52 seconds here. Gilbert Crockett and his friends in Richmond, Virginia are working on a new homie-video called Cellout, which based on this promo, is going to be pretty fucking great:

Awesome spots in there too. Imagine if the BQE Lot was as developed as that bridge spot at the beginning… fuck me.

Also, am I the only one who thinks if I could only have one spot for the rest of my life, that bank at about 1:00 in would be enough to keep you happy? I mean, sure, you could do better, but how much do you really need?

Gilbert Crockett is, in my opinion, a very exciting up-and-comer and I find myself liking pretty much everything he puts out. There’s something kind of unique about him which I can’t quite put a finger on, but I do know I really like his kickflips and that ninja-pop thing he always does. I also like the fact that even though he’s, technically speaking, a “baller” now, with major league sponsorships from Alien Workshop and Vans, he’s still putting out local videos, just for, quite apparently, the fun of it.

Man, there are people out there doing some incredibly sick shit.

Had to post this… HUF just partnered with Japanese artist Haroshi, known for making sculptures out of skateboard decks, and Bay Area-based all-things-skateboarding operation DLX for a unique collaboration including clothing, sneakers, hard goods, and some incredible artwork by Haroshi, which, as a bit of a fartist myself, is of particular interest to me.

Haroshi did an actual sculpture of this, which was later screenprinted onto a Zip Zinger deck, which is particularly awesome for me, as I’ve basically made my Zip Zinger my day-to-day skateboard now. Only 400 of these bad boys were made, so if you’d like the opportunity to focus one after a long and meaningful relationship, you’d better get on it.

Available at HUF’s online store amongst other fine skate shops, including DQM, if you happen to live in New York.

It’s a shame something so beautiful is ultimately meant for destruction, but such is the way of skateboarding, indeed, you might even say it is the heart of it.

Now, on to the real bangers…

Ramondetta’s Arm

Fire Hydrant

In case you missed it, all of these sculptures are made out of stacks of used decks, essentially repurposing destruction and making something beautiful out of it all over again. It’s the circle of art!

Spitfire Classic

Actual Spitfire Classics as bearings… fuckin’ A… “A” for amazing detail. I’m just shitting over this stuff, you guys. Just gotta get it out, you know?

Apparently I had some anxiety over starting the week as I spent much of last night tormented by psychotic dreams. However, that evening, I also had watched the trailer for Event Horizon, one of the most deeply disturbing films I can recall seeing as a young, impressionable adolescent. So it might have been that. Or it may have been the entirety of the $6.99 Trader Joe’s hummus quartet, ostensibly my dinner, which I consumed between the hours of 12:00 and 1:00 am, which is likely the truest horror of them all.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t all bad. At some point my subconscious thoughts turned to something I often dream of in the daylight hours, skateboarding, and I was whisked away to a completely imagined, but beyond perfect, spot — a giant castle/museum/plaza covered in white marble. Perhaps it was a vision of heaven, remembered by my subconscious before I was born, I don’t know, it’s entirely plausible. And the best part is, as I opened my eyes to the dream, charging downhill atop my board, I looked to my left and there was TNT, Tony Trujillo himself, a man once described by Jason Dill as “when [he] skates he looks like a beautiful Indian on fire.” And indeed, he is. We skated together all night, and when I woke up this morning, he was gone. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.

[Images via Chrome Ball Incident]

But anyway, here are some photos (of my own). Not related to skateboarding, or dreams, or Leonardo DiCaprio in a dream, or Indians on fire, or anything. Just a few ran-dumbs from a similarly gray day, perhaps one spent dreaming of skateboarding even…

Man, light is just too cool. These types of photos might be totally self-indulgent, but it’s my blog and I’ll act like a cat chasing a laser pointer if I want to.

I took 7 nearly identical shots of this tree, and not a single one of them is sharp. I guess that’s what you get for trying to take a picture out of a filthy, rain-spattered window. Nonetheless, I wanted to get a shot anyway since there are always a downright Hitchcockian level of birds in this tree outside my window. I don’t know why, I guess it’s more comfortable than the other trees in the area? The drinks are cheaper? I walk around naked too much and it’s funny to them? Who knows.

Stay dry this weekend, kiddies. Saturday’s supposed to bring a wintry mix of nasty proportions… granted, not nearly as nasty as a work week. Plus, who doesn’t like an excuse to smoke herb and stare out the window? Not like I ever needed one before, but I’m just sayin’ is all.

Man oh man, is it an exciting time to be on the Internet or what? And not just because I’m stoned right now. And not just because this may be the very last of the exciting times on the Internet if all this pro-censorship legislation actually passes. Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve been this excited about the Internet since I first discovered pornography.

Today was a tumultuous one in The War on a Free Internet, currently being waged by various Congressional henchmen and the entertainment industry bosses lining their pockets. This morning, popular file-sharing/pirated-music-haven, Megaupload, was shut down. The US government seized its domain names, snatched $50 million in assets (including 18 very expensive cars, 60 Dell servers, and a “Predator” statue), had four of its executives arrested, and charged the company with violating piracy laws, claiming it basically stole $500 million in profits from copyright holders. It might not sound that crazy on the surface, but this was some serious search & destroy shit…

The arrest was carried out by the Organised & Financial Crime Agency New Zealand and police following a “mutual legal assistance request from the US to arrest individuals for the purpose of extradition”.

Three properties were searched, and four arrested – three at [CEO] Dotcom’s place in Coatesville, and one in Orakei.

A total of 76 police and armed offenders squad officers were involved, as well as four FBI agents who assisted with the inquiry, but not the raid itself. [source]

Basically, they weren’t going home empty-handed. Seems like the forces of greed are flexing nuts after Craigslist went dark on Wednesday and some Hollywood exec got pissed when he couldn’t fill his usual m4m casual encounters fix. Nonetheless, it begs the question, why exactly do they need SOPA/PIPA if they can already shut down whoever they please? Oh, right, because SOPA and PIPA would allow them to go after sites that aren’t breaking the law, and without due process of law.

If you’ve ever stolen- uh, I mean- shared anything on the Internet, chances are good you’ve run into my friend Megaupload. With 50 million daily visitors, the site accounted for an incredible 4% of total Internet traffic! I prefer Mediafire anyway, but that’s just me.

Nonetheless, just because I wasn’t too upset about it, doesn’t mean a whole lot of angry hackers weren’t either. In retaliation of this obvious retaliation of the anti-censorship blackouts on Wednesday, “hacktivist” group, Anonymous, took down a whole shit ton of shits- I mean- sites. They probably weren’t ones you visit very often, so maybe it’s not that big of a deal, but the list includes websites like whitehouse.gov, usdoj.gov, riaa.org, mpaa.org, fbi.gov, and copyright.gov, just in case you’ve heard of them.

Already there have been casualties on both sides. And these were just the warning shots.

Rest in peace, Megaupload. Say “hi,” to your great grandfather, Napster, for me, when you see him in Illegal File-Sharing Heaven.

After yesterday’s anti-SOPA/PIPA/rich evildoers blackout, the Internet must be feeling pretty hungover. This handful of photos taken during some of my recent nightcrawling should help nourish you back to health. Also, don’t forget to drink lots of Gatorade… and take a poop!

Like an old syringe found behind a dumpster, this photo would be better if it was a little bit sharper.

It’s Winter in New York City, so these steam pipes are all over the place for… uh, for some reason or other. I actually have no clue what they do… aside from the obvious, of course. The steam’s smell certainly leaves something to be desired, though. Does a city fart?

Farted out by one of New York City’s many assholes (not to be confused with its many armpits). I like it. Maybe that’s how I was born.

There aren’t many better ways to cap a night out than by putting down a few pints at Peculiar Pub in the West Village, particularly if you like sampling from a staggering list of weird beers, and more importantly, if you happen to cap your nights at 9:30pm, before all the NYU kids and the rest of the Bleeker St. frat house show up. Many a sad bank statement has been printed at that ATM, let me tell you.

Just like Jimmy Wales, that creepy programmer guy, and the whole rest of the crew at Wikipedia, in protest of the fiendish SOPA and PIPA bills, I’m blacking out today.

I just hope I don’t post something stupid on Facebook once I do.

In any case… since Dedleg isn’t entirely incoherent yet, if you’re not sure what to think about SOPA and how generous you feel towards bloodsucking corporate ghouls, just have a look at this statement the MPAA Chairman and former Senator, Chris Dodd, released in response to the blackout protests:

It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.

Now, an organization keen on suing grandfathers for pirating shitty movies on the Internet, and even some people who haven’t done anything vaguely illegal, like the MPAA, condemning another company for furthering corporate interests would be hilarious… if they weren’t in a position to change the law.

Also, what corporate interests is he even talking about? Is anybody at Wikipedia getting rich for their ability to write articles about Tolkein’s breeds of trolls, and if so, how can I get a job there? Pretty sure Wikipedia wouldn’t be begging for money all the goddamned time if they actually made any.

Worse still is the fact that Dodd is scolding Wikipedia, reddit, et al. for inconveniencing the “people who rely on them for information,” considering SOPA is, in so many ways, a censorship bill. I seriously hate these idiots we’ve hired to control our lives, everybody. Don’t vote for the assholes in Washington, vote for the net.

If you don’t make the most (or better yet, the least) of the time you have off, there’s really no point in having time off at all. However, in updating this blog, I’ve already destroyed any chance of me choosing the path of least resistance, but it’s good to have goals, anyway.

If there’s one thing I like more than a good view, it’s a good view obscured by spattered filth. Also, taking pictures out of train windows while said train is in motion proves infinitely troublesome.

These are a (very) few shots I took some months ago while visiting the bustling village of Sleepy Hollow. If you like Halloween or went to grade school in America, chances are good you’ve heard of this place, thanks to The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Curious enough, the “legend,” as it were, is really not so much a legend at all — it’s merely one of the earliest examples of American fiction written by Washington Irving — and a reasonably entertaining film inspired by the legend, starring Edward Scissorhands — based on the actual legend of the Headless Horseman, which is a motif of European folklore that dates back to the Middle Ages.

In any case, while I was in town, I made sure to visit the Official Sleepy Hollow Cemetery™, where Washington Irving once slinked amongst the graves, finding the names for his characters upon the many headstones.

While there, I stumbled upon a literal bridge over troubled water. Hearing the faint drumming of hoofs bearing down hard on the damp earth in the distance, I decided to cut my visit short.

And then my camera ran out of battery at the worst time possible. Always travel with a spare, a good memory only goes so far.

Also, don’t bother to check your calendar, you’re not crazy. I’m just a weirdo. It is, in fact, Tuesday, January 17^th. Really, a fairly humdrum day in the middle of the winter, far from the ghoulish festivities of October 30^th. Nonetheless, ghoulish festivities are never far from my heart, which I happen to keep in a jar on my desk.