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Apathy — silent but deadly?

I used to think it was pretty bad ass to be apathetic, but later on realized it was mostly just an excuse for laziness. The problem is, now I have to think of new excuses for my laziness. It’s like that saying goes, you have to be the change you want to see… in people? The world? Something like that… I don’t care enough to look it up.

So yeah, looks like Daewon Song put out the best video part of the year and it’s only March… oh yeah, and the video was released for free online and it was just a bunch of skate park clips.

The thing is… “just a bunch of skate park clips” is a wholly offensive way of describing this footage of everybody’s favorite skateboarding alien. I don’t even know why I’m impressed, honestly. Daewon has never not blown my shit away. It’s his singular calling in life, to make everybody else in skateboarding feel like the inadequate guy you always see at the beginning of Viagra commercials, rolling over in bed so his back is to his disappointed lover.

I lost count of how many times I said “what the fuck” in the two minutes I spent watching this.

The dude is on another level… a level that resides even farther into outer space than I originally anticipated. He’s been sponsored for nearly twenty years, spending much of that time being innovative in ways that are unfathomable, even for an activity that prides itself on always pushing the envelope of what is “possible.” And today, when skateboarding is witnessing the offspring of his mind-boggling technical progression in the form of a veritable legion of 17-year-old triple-flipping wunderkinds, the grandfather comes out with this. It’s a giant, rotating middle finger to the reason we had to stop calling tre flips 360 flips (because kids actually started doing kickflips while spinning 360 degrees simultaneously with ridiculous regularity).

I apologize — my run-on sentences are longer than Daewon’s nose manuals. The point is, he’s still better than everyone. He’ll probably always be better than everyone, even when he’s retired to a life of solitude somewhere far removed, content to spend his days defying physics in a secluded monastery tucked into some Tibetan cliff side. Ambitious amateurs will then climb those perilous cliffs, hoping to earn his tutelage… but of course, they never will.

This is what an ounce of high-quality oregano looks like. The perfect seasoning, guaranteed to make any meal taste better.

I’m not sure if this diptych, such that it is, is an example of a parallel or a juxtaposition. It’s up for interpretation, I suppose.

Antique depiction of Death, via Wikipedia - cheapened by you know who

Think of it as sort of a “choose your own adventure” for hobby photography. I respect my readership, I’ll let you figure things out for yourselves. Not trying to beat anybody over the head here… that’s what the wee- oregano is for.

You see, the oregano is for my family-owned authentic pizzeria. We buy in bulk. And our pies are so good, it’s like getting kicked in the head! Who doesn’t like pizza? And what’s better than getting kicked in the head? I mean come on.

Shaun White - photos by Terry Richardson

Nobody told me Carrot Top won a gold medal at the Winter Olympics… I didn’t even know he was competing!

Definitely gotta cop some of those American flag jeans though, shit’s fyre.

Whenever you think to yourself, “I miss the old New York”, do you really? Admit it — not having to worry about stepping on a used syringe is kind of nice. Unless you live in Alphabet City, in which case you probably don’t understand what I’m talking about.

Either way… the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Apparently it’s unofficial zombie week here at Dedleg National Headquarters. Now if only my knee was as undead as Hollywood’s monstrosity of the moment… well… then I guess I’d have to think of another name.

They’ll find a cure one day, little guy. Stay strong.

Shaun of the Dead director Edgar Wright - photo via slashfilm.com

The Woody Harrelson and poor-man’s-Michael-Cera zom-com of 2009, Zombieland, was released on digital video disc about a month ago. If you enjoy watching guts spray across the screen, and laughing at quippy dialogue — sometimes simultaneously — then this is the movie for you. And at about $16, you won’t be sorry about spending the money for very long.

The opening credits sequence is also extremely cool — and ever since a childhood full of name calling and unfortunate gym class episodes, it’s been my mission to not only hunt down what is truly cool, but understand the inner-workings of cool. After all, you cannot kill the tiger unless you actually think how a tiger would think, if he had a 12-gauge shotgun aimed at another tiger.

Zombies, Woody Harrelson, a kid who’s kind of like Michael Cera, and old school Metallica? Be still my heart.

Truth on a t-shirt

Anyway, the integrated three-dimensional credits technique has become something of a fixture in Hollywood over the past year or so, and while it’s starting to get a bit well-worn, for the most part it’s still pretty visually stimulating. And when you’re as much of an herbalist as I am, visually stimulating counts for something. This is the country that would rather watch Fern Gully in 3D than a movie that makes you think and has boring parts not involving guns or swords, after all. Fuck “art” — I’d rather blow shit up.

Oh, and speaking of herbalists… while, Woody Harrelson has built himself something of a reputation as a pot head over the years, don’t think of me as so stoned and shallow that it’s enough to sell me on any movie he stars in (even though it is.) The man happens to be a superb talent, who can take on complex, emotional roles convincingly, but who also clearly doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Woody Harrelson’s ass

Sorry about that, I felt like playing the “how many visitors can I convince to leave and never come back” game for a second.

What can I say? You know dedleg’s got the hook up for all the exclusive celeb nudez. Seriously though, I’ve been hooked ever since I absorbed all those Cheers reruns in utero. Some expecting mothers play Mozart to their new-found fetuses, my mom let me hang out where everybody knows your name.

Fuck, I need another beer.

It’s a commonly-known law of physics that skateboards are chemically attracted to water. And during the 11 and a half month long winter in Chicago, where water in both its solid and liquid forms is quite prevalent, that can be a problem for those of us who treat skateboarding as more than just a seasonal activity, but a lifelong quest to remain a Toys ‘R’ Us kid.

But, as with most things in life, you’re not going to get anywhere if you’re afraid to get your feet wet. You don’t have to love skateboarding in the slop, slush and salt, but you do have to love skateboarding enough to keep skating in the slop, slush and salt.

Skateboards are meant to be broken — it’s their ultimate purpose. Whether it’s a poorly-landed heelflip, or rust and water damage that finally does it is not important. What is important is that you don’t let the winter break skateboarding for you.

One of my cacti is quickly headed to the great desert in the sky… look, don’t try to understand. It’s like losing a member of the family. The Chicago winter has been most unkind to it, and for that… I will have my revenge.

But, look! The circle of life! Death is not an end… it’s merely a rearrangement of energy… or some shit. The first sprouts have… uh… sprouted, as it were, from a couple of leaves that fell off one of my Jade plants. Their fruit is the ornamental stone of the same name. Seriously. Try garnishing a salad with some, your guests will just die!

I find it so fascinating how Jade and other succulents (freaky cousins of cacti) don’t have seeds, but instead grow new plants from fallen leaves or cuttings. It’s almost like they’re from outer space or something.

This is a pretty awesome little video I found floating anonymously through the Internets. It’s a short history of skateboarding in New York City called The New York Skate Movie and it features a ton of old footage and interviews. Deathbowl to Downtown may have stolen its thunder just a little bit (actually, a lotta bit), but it’s still an interesting view into NYC skateboarding’s glory days. Basically, before it was just 16-year-olds in front of Union Square who care more about what shoes they’re wearing than if they can actually kickflip in them.

You know, skating might have been born in California, but it was when kids in Connecticut, and New Jersey, and New York got a hold of it and actualized it in their own environment, that it really came to life. 

Given that it’s coming an East Coast skater like Mike Vallely, that quote might come across as a bit biased, but I think there’s a good amount of truth in there regardless. Skateboarding has always benefited from an influx of different viewpoints and perspectives. Whether you prefer a backyard pool session to an afternoon of ledge dancing is besides the point — without a constant surge of originality, without new ideas, skateboarding will get boring. Which is exactly what happened to competition vert. Look at it this way, without new ideas, we’d all still be wearing huge jeans, and that alone should be enough proof of evolution for all the creationists out there. Go to hell, you bunch of goddies.

The relentless push of progress does take its toll, though. Edmund Burke said that “those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it,” however, he was not a skateboarder. Unfortunately, this is not the case in our beloved subculture, and simply knowing of a time when security guards had better things to do than harass skaters is not enough to make that the case once more. Retrospectives like this one are valuable because they can provide a glimpse of a time that we’ll never get to experience for ourselves.

It’s a shame — these days, cities often view skaters as more of a nuisance than the passed-out junkies littering their many delectable stair sets. Which is fair, I guess, since skateboarding is pretty noisy and everybody knows that city-dwellers really value peace and quiet.

Going into the new year, I intended to make my music posts more current considering most of the songs I’ve featured so far date back to the earlier part of last decade. And that shit’s so old it might as well be the soundtrack playing at Jurassic Park. The problem is, current music is making that really hard for me to do. I’ve got a couple fairly new releases in my slick 5-disc Panasonic CD player — they’re not exactly knocking my socks off here, now — so I’m giving them some time to marinate, and we’ll see.

But for now, fuck all that shit, it’s been too long since I did a proper one of these. Today, dedleg is brought to you by the number 6 and the letter q, with special musical guest Dilated Peoples.

Dilated Peoples - image via amiestreet.com

Dilated Peoples are one of those groups who never quite made it. They rose quickly through the LA underground scene alongside Jurassic 5, with both groups achieving a frenzied cult-like following before releasing their anticipated debut full-lengths. Ultimately, J5 saw more commercial success, though Dilated did get a small taste of the mainstream.

The group, consisting of emcees Rakaa Iriscience and Evidence rapping alongside DJ Babu’s turntable wizardry, saw a bit of MTV rotation and was featured on a number of video games’ soundtracks — and I mean, in hip hop you can’t get much more legit than that. If you played as much NBA Street Vol. 2 as I did in college, you no doubt know them as the group responsible for the funky theme music. Or maybe you don’t, but yeah, it was them.

Interestingly enough, Dilated’s real Achilles heel was their consistency. They’re solid almost to a fault. Their 2000 debut, The Platform was a hell of a first impression. Sharing the limelight with a host of guest vocalists and producers, Rakaa and Evidence blazed through every track — tight flows, lush beats and unbeatable stamina made it one of the best hip hop releases of the early millennium. Unfortunately, their subsequent albums, though solid, never really brought anything new. They were too consistent. Additionally, they increasingly favored solo tracks, which lost the entrancing dynamic between Rakaa and Evidence. Ultimately, The Platform remains their shining achievement, so here’s one of the most exciting tracks on the album:

Have your party thank me later.