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I found these retro Polaroids of kids fucking around on BMX bikes on… uh… FFFFound, coincidentally. And even though relations between skaters and BMXers historically have been a little tense (because their big dumb wheels put holes in wooden ramps, the fucking savages) I thought these shots were pretty fucking awesome. They really capture the nonchalance and bravado of being a teenager with too much time and a bunch of dumb ideas.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way. — Charles Dickens 

Oh to be 15 again. Mostly just because then my knees and ankles wouldn’t ache whenever it rains anymore.

You know it’s cold when steel starts cracking. Good thing Spring appears to finally be on its way, this shit was getting ridiculous.

I shattered a base plate trying to punch out half a kingpin a couple times, but never managed to while actually skating before. In fact, when I landed and the hanger went flying out from under my board, at first I figured I had just broken a kingpin. That would have been pretty routine, actually.

You see, I have something of a reputation for destroying kingpins as it is — grade 8 bolts everywhere fear my very name. It’s become less of a problem as I slowly got less horrible at skating. But there was a period of time when I was cracking them in half so often I ended up just buying the right size bolt at Home Depot in bulk — something I recommend anyway, since they’re like 30 cents a piece there and you can get aircraft grade steel, which should be able to withstand even the sloppiest, toe-draggingest of landings. And when you smash down frontside pop shove its like I do, only aircraft grade steel will do.

You think bombing a hill on a skateboard is intense? Former snowboarding videographer Murray Siple made a documentary about a community of homeless men in North Vancouver who make their living collecting empty bottles and cans, and also participate in … uh, I guess “extreme downhill shopping cart racing” would be the name. And it’s exactly what it sounds like. Awesome, I mean.

These bums aren’t addicted to booze or intravenous drugs, they’re hooked on speed! Uh… I mean, not amphetamines, but like… literally going fast. That’s what they’re addicted to.

Seriously though, these dudes are pretty fucking hardcore — modern day outlaws riding their trusted steeds through the urban frontier. Carts of Darkness is a super interesting look into a counterculture lifestyle (albeit not necessarily by choice) and a fledgling “action sport” that probably won’t be seeing recognition by the X Games any time soon.

Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but think of this old artifact from skateboarding’s recent past. The uninitiated will likely recognize some of these antics from Jackass, but they were originally from the CKY video series championed by the coolest skateboarder with a bowl cut and HIM tattoos out there — Bam Margera.

Man… that shit doesn’t age so well. Am I just old? I don’t know.

I had a [black] friend who upon seeing CKY said to me, “Only white boys would do this.” I think he’s right.

The shoe I based my drawing off of is my favorite Vans model of late — for skating, not just for looking like a really cool guy at the bar — the TNT 4. …Although they still would look pretty cool at a bar. They just wouldn’t smell too alluring, you might say. Well, mine don’t anyway.

Tony Trujillo - photo by Joe Hammeke

Like the man himself, the shoes can take quite a bit of punishment, and that adds up to big savings for you, the barely-employed man-child skate-rat.

Wow. Hyphens… so hot right now.

I can’t say much for Gravis as a brand, considering they’re just a bunch of bloodsuckers under another mega-corporate umbrella, but they’ve got Arto Saari on the team and that goes a long way. Their choice of sneakers sure doesn’t seem to stop these guys from crushing the KCDC mini ramp. Particularly Dylan Reider, which was surprising since his pro model looks like elf shoes from the Wild West.

How could owning a mini ramp not be part of every skateboarder’s “To Do Before I Die” checklist? Hell, considering it rained every day last week, I’m about to build one in my fucking living room already.

After a week of rain, a sunny day might as well be a million dollar check.

Well… I take that back. A million dollars would definitely be way better, but you know what I mean.

I’ve said it before, and my obsession with sunsets has certainly been well-documented here, but a Western view out of your apartment is at least as important as having a bodega a couple blocks away.

After all, what’s the point of drinking a six pack if you don’t have a sunset to wash it down? I mean besides to dull the horrible sting of another work week.

Are there any serious contenders out there who want to try to best my current champion for “coolest thing I’ve ever seen”?

I mean really, “holy fucking shit” is the only thing that applies here.

For as weird as the Internet is, its predecessor in weirdo havens, public access television, had a special type of charm in its unbearable awkwardness. I can’t believe I’m saying this, particularly in light of the clip below, but the Internet actually seems too desperate sometimes — attention-starved oddities on YouTube are often too self-aware. Nonetheless… when watching this clip, “desperate” is the only thing that comes to mind. I suppose it was just a simpler time, one filled with mystery and dark poetry…

Enough has been said indeed. I’m beginning to understand the name, “The Hell Ride.” I’m in Hell watching it, you’re in Hell doing it. Then again, if this is The Hell Ride, what the fuck did you call high school?

The worst Fridays are the ones when you’re so burnt out you just want to take a nap.

Well… maybe drink a 40 first… then I’ll see if I still feel like napping.

Last week’s Chrome Ball post on Mike Maldonado, the proverbial East Coast powerhouse, led me to this old clip from 411 issue 13.4. For those who don’t know — before the days of YouTube and skate blogs, the best way we could get recent footage from our favorite pros in between video parts was by having a subscription (or a friend with one and a lot of blank tapes) to a video magazine. That’s right folks, VHS + the printed word — it’s an archeologist’s dream find!

Anyway, this is probably one of the best shared parts I can think of. It features the aforementioned Mike Maldonado and his partner in running from the Philly police, Pete Eldridge — both East Coast icons who eventually fell through the cracks a bit. These dudes should have had a skateboarding-buddy-comedy television spot way before Rob & Big got the job. Pete’s frontside heel up the Love Park five alone is a resume you’d be a fool to say no to. That shit’s not made of vegetable oil, kids, it’s straight butter.

Apathy — silent but deadly?

I used to think it was pretty bad ass to be apathetic, but later on realized it was mostly just an excuse for laziness. The problem is, now I have to think of new excuses for my laziness. It’s like that saying goes, you have to be the change you want to see… in people? The world? Something like that… I don’t care enough to look it up.